Page 16 of When Monsters Rise
“Yes, of courseIdid, but now that we have a solution, a way to save you, we don’t have to accept fate.Bastian, you don’t have to die.Wecan be together.”
“No,Rue.Wecan’t because the thing that comes back, the person that’s reborn, it won’t be me.”
Hiswords struck a chord inside me, but it wasn’t a chordIwanted to listen to.Hewas being stubborn and argumentative. “Whatis wrong with you?Don’tyou want to live?”
Hesearched my face as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Yes,Rue, of courseIdo, but not if the cost is the memory of us.”
Ididn’t want to understand.Ididn’t want to accept this.Wehad a solution.Wehad hope, andIwanted to hold on to that, and he was ruining it. “Damnyou!”
Ishoved past him and ran down the corridor.Icouldn’t be around him now because my heart was breaking all over again, shattering the fragile hope thatI’dbeen building inside it.
Islipped intoShem’sroom and crawled into his bed.Itwas warm with the imprint of him, andIbreathed him in, allowing his scent to calm the raging tumult of emotion inside me.
Thedoor opened a few minutes later.
“Youcan sleep here if you like,”Shemsaid, a hint of amusement in his tone.
“Iwasn’t asking permission.”
“Ifit makes you feel better to take out your frustration on me, then so be it.”
Fuckmy life.Icouldn’t even be angry and snippy without feeling guilty. “I’msorry.”
“Ispoke toBastian.”Thebed dipped as he got in behind me. “He’smade his wishes clear.”
Mythroat pinched. “Yeah, he wants to die.”
“Hedoesn’twantto die,Rue.Buthe’s accepted that he will.You’remaking it harder for him by fighting it.Thereis no way to save him, not without losing everything that makes him the man you love.”
Mythoughts were a tumultuous mess governed by emotion. “Areyou saying thatJamie…that he’ll never be the same?”
“Humansare shaped by their life experiences,Rue.Youknow this.”
Isqueezed my eyes shut as if that could block out the truth of his words and take away the guilt that was now burrowing its way into my chest. “Ifucked up, didn’tI?”
Heput his arm around my waist and pulled me against him. “You’rehuman.Andthere is nothing wrong with that.Bastianunderstands.Youcan speak to him tomorrow before we go into the tunnels.Thereare many things we have no control over, so let’s focus our energies on the things that we do.”
Hewas right.Theone thing we could control was our effort to fix theMorningstar, and maybe along the way, we’d find a solution to saveBastianthatdidn’tinvolve stripping him of his memories, becauseIwasn’t ready to accept fate.
“Areyou really going to leave after it’s all done?”Myvoice sounded small and vulnerable, andIhated that, butIneeded to know for sure.Ineeded to be mentally and emotionally prepared.
Hissigh was a soft exhalation skating over my skin. “I’mnot sure thatI’llhave a choice.”
“Andif you have a choice?”
Hekissed my shoulder. “IfIhave a choice, thenI’llstay.I’llstay with you,Rue.”
Myeyes heated. “I’dlike that.I’dlike that a lot.”
Theshadows across the room shifted, and my heart shot into my throat.IgrippedShem’sarm, digging my nails into his skin. “Theghost is here.”
Chapter10
Theghost moved again—a dark smudged shape hidden in the shadows. “It’shere,Shem.”
Shemtensed behind me. “Where?”
“Acrossthe room, between the desk and the dresser.”
