Page 67 of The Stone Curse
Derek had been silent all this time, but he spoke now, his voice a low, soothing rumble. “You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, my Cameron.”
The fresh flash of panic on Shar’s face echoed the turmoil inside me.
I looked up into Derek’s glittering diamond eyes, my heart too full, my throat tight. “I love you, Derek, and I’m not losing you. If there’s no other way, then I’ll do whatever needs to be done.”
“We could mute it,” Yarrow said suddenly. “There are herbs to mute desire, correct?”
“There are.” Mirrowind’s tone was weary now; it was obvious she was fed up of this whole thing. “But muting won’t help her long-term. Her body needs the sexual energy to thrive.”
“I understand that,” Yarrow said. “It would be a short-term solution to get her through the trial and this moon cycle.”
Mirrowind drained her goblet. “Fine. I know of a tincture, but itisa short-term solution.” Then to me, “It will cease to be effective the longer you deny yourself. It would be selfish to ignore your needs for some twisted version of honor you hold in your mind.”
“Whoa,” Shar said. “Cameron is the least selfish person I know. She might put herself at risk, but she’d never risk harming the people she loves. Denying herself to preserve someone else’s feelings is not selfish; it’s entirely the opposite.”
My chest warmed.
“It will buy us time to complete the mission,” Levi said. “End the alpha, get Romi and Serath back so you can say goodbye properly, and move on.”
Because even if I got Serath back, he would have to leave. But at least he’d be safe. He’d have a life, even if not with me, and in time…in time I might be able to move on with mine.
I looked to Yarrow. “Please. Do it.”
CHAPTER 28
The lake is a mirror reflecting the starlit sky and heavy full moon. Serath stands silhouetted against the backdrop, a powerful figure inked in silver and shadow. He turns his head as I approach.
“I’m not sure how you did it,” he says. “I’m not sure how I’m still here.”
I’m not one hundred percent sure either. “I think this has something to do with my fae blood.”
There’s so much I want to tell him, about the elite training, about Melanie, about my nature, and about the fever and what happened with Curi. Yes, especially the last part, because I need him to absolve me, to tell me it’s all right, that I’m forgiven for giving in to the needing. Me. That will be for me. Not for him. No. Knowing won’t serve him. It won’t help him at all. It will leave him trapped here, torn up, conflicted, and helpless.
I won’t do that to him.
The confession, the truth of what I’ll have to do going forward will wait until he’s free of the graynites and back with us. It will wait until he can stand before me in the flesh and tell me how he really feels.
But I can tell him about my ability to bind him to me. “Mirrowind says my fae blood allowed me to bind you to me. I think that connection might be helping you anchor yourself here.”
“Yes…” He looks up at the moon then back down at me. “I think you may be right. If this works, then it will buy me time.” He winces, his brow furrowing in discomfort.
I cup his jaw, reveling in the real sensation of stubble against my fingers. “What is it?”
“I can feel them chipping away at me, feel…something else. Cold and alien pushing against my senses.”
“You can’t let it in.” I push up on my tiptoes and press my lips to his, wanting to inject my power, my fortitude into him. “We won’t let it in.”
He sighs against my mouth, a ragged, weary sound. “I’m so tired, Cameron. So fucking tired.”
My eyes heat. “I know, but just a little while longer. The elite trial is in a few days, and Orix says they have a way to punch a hole in the graynite wards. I’m coming for you. I promise I’ll find you and Romi, and I will bring you home.”
A little hope bleeds into his eyes. “All this time we’ve been waiting for the alpha to emerge so we can take him down, but now…now we can finally take the fight to him.” He grips my shoulders. “Cameron, the focus must be on the alpha. Eliminating him must come first. Before Romi…before me.” My conflict must have shown on my face because his grip on me tightened. “Promise me. Swear it.”
Dammit. “Fine. Alpha first.”
His grip relaxes, and he reaches up to caress my face, but darkness creeps over his features, stealing him from me and pulling me away. Away from our shared haven and into the tumult of regular mundane dreams.
For the next four days,I lived for dreaming. Woke, ate, trained, and then hurried to bed, wanting nothing more than to be with Serath once more. Our shared anchor became my world, and the real world felt like a dream.
