Page 105 of Lost and Stolen Gods
“Dharma died…we…We were fighting revenants, and she… she died.” A sob bubbled up my throat and escaped because I couldfeelthat moment as if it was still happening. The horror and impotence of it. Another sob followed the first, and I clutched at him, needing an anchor in the storm that had followed me out of my nightmare.
I clung to him, pressing my face to his chest, as the turmoil of emotions that the dreaming had churned up rushed through me.
He tensed for a moment, and the part of my brain that had sense whispered for me to release him, butanother part that still lingered in the land of nod refused to listen, because this, in his arms, was safe.
His chest vibrated against me, and he relaxed, folding me in a hug and carefully adjusting me so that I was tucked against his side.
“You’re safe now,” he said into the darkness. “Nightmares cannot hurt you. Just breathe and come back to the waking world.”
I inhaled him, allowing his scent to soothe me, and eventually the remnants of the battlefield faded, leaving nothing but an echo of disquiet.
“Better?” he asked.
“If I say yes, will it mean you’ll push me away?” I sniffed and peered up at him.
He looked down at me with topaz eyes burning with emotions I couldn’t fathom.
I held my breath.
He sighed again. “Not tonight, Leela. Tonight, we will share this moment. But tomorrow…I cannot be what you need.”
“Tomorrow, you go back to avoiding me.”
His grip on me tightened a fraction. “It has to be this way.”
“Because you don’t want to be slave to a bond?”
“Do you? To not know whether your feelings are real or fabricated by mystical forces? To be forced to remain in a place you do not wish and be bound to someone you have not chosen? Do you wish this?”
“No. But it’s all I have. It’s all that’s been given to mesince I was taken from my home, and you…” My stupid eyes were wet again. “You’re at the center of it. I’m not as strong as you are. I can’t just stop…feeling.”
“You think I do notfeel?” He shifted his body so that he was facing me, his face an intense mask of torment. “You think I do not ache to touch. To kiss…” He traced my lips with the tip of his finger, and my stomach flipped hard. “But it will bring nothing but pain.” His face was so close now that one tilt of my chin would allow me to taste his mouth. ”Nothing but pain if we take that path…”
My eyes slipped closed as his breath ghosted over my lips.
“For the both of us.”
I felt him there, feather light, grazing my mouth with his, and held my breath with every inch of my body, hoping, just hoping.
He let out a ragged sigh edged in frustration and pulled back. “Sleep now.”
“Here, in bed with you?”
“Tonight. Only tonight.”
But how could I sleep with his body pressed to mine, with the sluggish heat of desire moving through my veins and the pulse between my thighs throbbing eagerly? It would be torture.
Impossible.
A yawn ripped through me, and his hand slipped into my hair, massaging gently.
This was nice. So…
Chapter 35
THE DAY AFTER THE NIGHT BEFORE
The next morning, I woke to an empty bed and Blue standing on my pillow, arms on his hips. “Did you bang him?”
