Page 2 of Lost and Stolen Gods
“The fact that I candostuff, that I like tolearnstuff, is unattractive?” My voice went up an octave, and I gritted my teeth because I did not want this to turn into a screaming match.
“The fact that you have no realambitionis unattractive. Carrie’s studying law. She wants to be someone, to do something meaningful with her life.”
He might as well have slapped me. “I thoughtwewere meaningful.” But even as I said the words, a tiny voice whispered,Liar. I pushed it aside needing to hold on to my righteous indignation and the anger that accompanied it.
“No,I’mmeaningful,” he said, lifting his chin arrogantly. “You just want to ride my coat tails.” He rolled his eyes. Actually fucking rolled his eyes.
When I’d seen the messages on his phone, my instinct had been to storm into the bathroom and confront him. But I’d waited. I’d told myself to be mature about the situation. Not to be the crazy screaming woman that the media always portrays in drama shows. I wanted to handle this situation, thisbreakup, with dignity. But honestly, dignity was overrated.
“Fuck you, Matt. Fuck you!”
He exhaled and ran a hand down his face. “If it means anything, I was planning on telling you.”
“When? Before or after you fucked me in my fancy lingerie?”
He had the grace to wince. “Look, you can stay here till you find a place, okay? I’m not a monster.”
My eyes welled as pain sliced through my heart as if someone was taking a blade and cutting him out of it. “No offense, Matt, but I’d rather eat glass.”
Stripping off the fancy lingerie, I pulled on regular underwear and the first clothes that came to hand—a long skirt and a shirt—not the best combination, but whatever. I grabbed my bag and coat and headed into the night where rain hammered at my skin like tiny cold pebbles that screamed,Wake up, wake up. Are you awake yet?
Yes, I was fucking awake. Finally.
My car started on the first turn of the key for a change, as if it empathized with my plight and didn’t want to put me under any further duress. I backed out of the drive, mind whirring withwhat now? Where to now? Who the fuck was I now that I wasn’t Matt’s fiancée? And when had I lost myself so thoroughly?
How had I let this happen?
And where the heck was I going? Shit. I was on thehighway. The signs for northbound flashed by, and suddenly I knew exactly where I was heading.
The one place where there was someone who never allowed me to feel unwanted or judged. A place I should have returned to a long time ago. Maybe never even left.
Yeah, after six years, it was finally time to go home.
Chapter 2
A SHADOW WITH TEETH
It was a four-hour drive to Mistlethorpe, enough time to ponder my life choices. Things like, why had I moved so far away? And why I’d neglected to visit in the last six years. Nani called often, but I hadn’t always picked up, preferring to drop her a text in response to the missed call. I’d thought about Nani often, of course, planned to call her, and then…Maybe Matt was right. Maybe I was a flake.Hadhe called me a flake?
I couldn’t remember.
But what I did know is that I was a shitty granddaughter. Nani deserved better, and when I got home, I’d make sure to make it up to her. Heck, I’d even learn to cook the traditional dishes she’d offered to teach me for years.
Yep, everything would be better once I got home.
My eyelids got heavy around one in the morning, so I pulled over at a rest stop to take a nap.
I fell quickly into dreaming, a place where I seemed to have more control than in real life. Being a lucid dreamer meant I could usually control my dream, even pick what dream I wanted to have. Maybe one about Matt in a slasher movie so I could watch him get stalked and killed. I let my body take over and sank deeper.
Random unrelated things passed through my mind like projector slides—a picnic in the park, a Ferris wheel ride, eating cereal at the kitchen table. Seriously? And then I was running down a corridor with familiar paintings on the walls. Something was chasing me. Something terrifying.
No. I didn’t like this one. I tried to dip out of it, but it held me there. Forcing me tofeelterror. I passed a mirror and caught a flash of myself. But the face wasn’t mine. It was older—a sweetheart shape with a graying bob.
Nani?
There was something behind her. Something dark and looming, and it was going to get her. Oh god. Run! I had to make her run.
She looked right at me in the mirror, her eyes filled with sorrow, and mouthed,Get out.
