Page 49 of Lost and Stolen Gods
“Then why thefuckare you in my bed?”
His tone, lethal, soft and saturated with revulsion, coupled with the residue of aching need shivering across my skin, unlocked the darker thoughts and emotions inside me. Thoughts that remined me that I was trapped, lost in a world that I didn’t understand and bound to a male that didn’t want me, and oh god, I was terrified and hungry, and tired, and lonely, and sad. Oh god, was I sad.
I opened my mouth to tell him all of this, and all that emerged was a wail that ended in a sob. It was followed by another and then another.
He jumped off that bed like I’d threatened to shove a hot poker up his ass and stood, hands at his sides, fists flexing. “Stop that.”
I wanted to, but now that the dam was broken, it was determined to vent. My chest heaved, fighting the tight swell of emotion. I tried to cut if off by covering my mouth, but the tears continued to pour, and mynose began to run, and it was a mess. Oh god I needed to stop. This was the worst. The absolute worst.
“Stop it right now!” Araz demanded.
“I…I’m trying…to…” I pushed the words out between sobs and hiccups, hating myself for being weak. For breaking like this when I needed to be strong.
He paced back and forth for a moment, then made a sound of exasperation. “It’s just a fuckng bed. You want it so bad, then take it.” He stormed out, slamming the door behind him.
I rolled onto my side, buried my face in the furs, and sobbed my heart out.
Grief was a funny old thing,or so I’d heard. I’d never known my mother or father. Nani had raised me, and she was my first loss. This was new to me. This burst of emotions that stole control of my faculties.
Would it happen again? And I wasn’t just thinking about the crying. The way Araz had made me feel…that wasn’t normal. At least not for me. Had he seriously thought I was offering myself to him? After everything that had happened between us? Could he really be that delusional? No. He’d been making a point. Some kind of point that made no sense to me but probably mattered to him.
He’d been playing with me, and I’d succumbed. I’d gone all gaspy and throbby and urgh. I covered my face. Great. Just great.
At least the crying had netted me the bed.
But if I vacated it and went to find food, would he reclaim it?
Better question was, did Iwantto stay in it after our tonsil hockey session?
My stomach grumbled, reminding me to feed it.
I forced myself up and into the shower. Freshly clothed, I made my way toward the kitchens. It was late and the corridors were silent, the others already in bed. The wall lamps were turned low so there was barely enough light to navigate by, but my night vision seemed to be working overtime, allowing me to see past the shadows gathered on the staircase and descend without breaking my neck.
I was by the door to the kitchens when I heard the voices. Low and gruff, speaking a foreign language but clearly in some kind of argument. I strained to listen and identify who was speaking.
That was Araz’s voice. It had to be. Who was he speaking with?
I caught the words,unfair my friend, and recognized Pashim’s voice before he switched to the other language again. I backed up a step and came up against something solid. Warm.
Oh. Shit.
I slowly looked up into the sneering face of thedrohi with markings that covered his crown and the sides of his face.
Jasha.
His large hands closed over my shoulders, and he lifted off my feet. “Hasn’t anyone taught you that it’s rude to eavesdrop?”
“Let go.” I kicked out, but he merely laughed, carrying me easily into the kitchen where Pashim and Araz were sitting at one of the tables.
“I found a mouse,” Jasha said, giving me a shake.
My gaze flew to Araz. Wasn’t he going to say anything? I was his demigod, after all. But he sat tense-jawed and silent. I guess lip-locking had changed nothing.
“Put her down,” Pashim said.
“Not for you to decide,” Jasha replied. “Araz, what shall we do with your eavesdropping demigod?”
“Put her down,” Araz said wearily, then to me, “What are you doing here?” His tone was irritable, as if I was a nuisance, and I might have believed it if he hadn’t, a mere thirty minutes ago, had his hot tongue in my mouth.
