Page 73 of Claim the Twilight
“It doesn’t harm you either.” The whole UV ray thing had been a lie. “I guess we’re both special.”
“I’m not special. But you are. I sensed it before I knew what part you were to play in all of this. Even now, when you’re changed, you still carry a unique light, one that so few can harbor.”
“The light the white wings put in me. Along with whatever darkness Loviator decided to add. I’m one delicious cocktail. Much too delicious for you, it seems.” I hated how bitter I sounded, but at the same time I didn’t care.
Now that I’d had time to think about it, he’d played with my emotions. Getting close when his goal was to leave this earth and go back to his white wing home. I should be bitter. I had the right to be, but the look of pained torment on his beautiful face formed a fist of guilt in my chest.
Silence stretched between us for several beats before Kaster broke it. “Before I met you, all I wanted was to be permitted back into the celestial realm. I wanted to go home having accomplished my goal of stopping Loviator. But now…There is a part of me that wants to fail, even if the world is ruined, simply so I can remain here with you.”
My heart lurched. “Youwantto stay?”
“Yes. Very much.” He drank me in with his dark gaze. “I want to stay, but to do so, I would have to fail, and I cannotwillinglydo that. I must stop her, and then I must return.”
Frustration clawed at my insides, bitter and sharp. “Then why did you start anything with me?”
“Selfish desire. I thought a year would be enough to spend with you. To have you, but as soon as we began, as soon as I tasted you, I knew I was wrong. But I couldn’t…I didn’t want to stop. Discovering who you were forced me to take a step back, and now…” He sighed. “Orina, you have been the sole spot of brightness in a long and weary existence. I’m in love with you. I have been for some time.”
Blood pumped in my ears, and my chest grew warm. “Why are you telling me this when you know you can’t stay? Why would you do that?” My ears burned and my eyes heated even as I recognized that this…this was exactly what I’d been demanding of Hemlock. Wanting him to admit his feelings when he knew he might not be able to stay. I had no right to berate Kaster for it now, but reason wasn’t strong enough to ward off my anger and frustration.
Kaster groaned and turned to face me. “I have to tell you how I feel because I can’t bear to have you look at me with such disregard.”
My chest tightened. “Disregard? I’m protecting myself. You hurt me. You pushed me away, and you didn’t even fucking hug me when you saw I was alive after what Micah and Christian did to me!Thenyou spout shit about wanting to go back home, making it clear that’s your preferred outcome, and you’re wondering why I?—”
His mouth met mine, his hands gripping my shoulders, fingers digging into me. I gasped, and he deepened the kiss, tongue finding mine, and the weeks that we’d been apart melted away. He’d been the first man that I’d fully let my guard down with. The first that I’d allowed myself to love. But he wasn’t a man; he was a celestial, and I couldn’t have him.
I pulled away, looking up at him through a haze of tears as my heart slammed against my ribs. Damn him for making me love him when he wasn’t free to truly love me back. “I hate you.” I bit back a sob.
“I hate me too.”
I dropped back on my heels and hung my head, not wanting to look at him. Looking at him hurt my heart. “When are you leaving to go back to the breach?”
“After your meeting with the houses. I’ll take whoever you wish to the breaches in preparation for our next altercation with Loviator.”
I nodded. “Good. I’m going to help sweep for the army. I’ll take Ordell, Sin, and Nyx with me. I think the supernaturals here will be safe with Godor and the batlings. Lorenzo, the Faoladh, and Holly can go to the breaches.”
He sighed again. “Are you going to look at me?”
I slowly lifted my gaze to his and forced a smile. “I’ll be all right. I’ll be okay. I just…I need time.”
He cupped my face and drew me in to drop a kiss on my forehead. “I’m going to check in with my team, but I’ll be back for the meeting.”
He stepped back and vanished in a beam of light.
I sniffed and wiped at my wet face. No more tears. I had vampire nobles to attend to, and those fuckers could smell weakness. It was time to channel some Ezekiel energy and do him proud.
I washedmy face and stood staring at myself in the mirror. The great thing about being a vampire was that the whole puffy-eyed thing didn’t last long. No one would be able to tell that I’d been crying, which was good because I was about to address a bunch of vampire house leaders, tell them that Ezekiel was indisposed, explain why, and then ask them to follow me into battle against an evil goddess.
Yep, piece of cake.
I took a deep breath and tucked a tendril of hair behind my ear. “You can do this, Orina.” I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, my heart stalled at the sight of my inky black irises. “What the fuck?”
My reflection stared back at me, calm and unaffected, and my arms broke out in goosebumps at the conviction that the thing staring at me from the mirror wasn’t me.
A knock sounded from the bedroom, and my head whipped to the open bathroom door.
“Orina, carriages are arriving,” Nyx called out.
“I’m coming!” I glanced back at my reflection, at my regular gray eyes, and another rush of goosebumps skimmed up my arms.
