Page 104 of Damned and Broken Gods
“Oh god!” Leela throws her arms around me, and pain lances through my abdomen, shocking me fully into my skin.
Her scent envelops me, grounding me, and in that moment, with her tears blessing my skin and her breath heating it, the pain doesn’t matter.
All that matters is her.
I’m somewherebetween dreams and waking when Leela returns to our room. I feel the bed dip when she sits by my hip, but something stops me from opening my eyes.
Her fingers graze my cheek, and she sighs.
“I have to say something to you. Because if I don’t say it out loud, then it will eat away at me. But…I’m glad you’re asleep so you can’t hear it.” A soft exhale. “Gods, I sound crazy, but here goes…I am wholly, irrevocably, insanely in love with you. So much so that when I thought you might die, I wanted to die too. I can’t deny it any longer, but I know…” She pauses, her breath labored as if she’s holding back tears. “I know that we can’t be together. I know that you have to leave. I know that I can’t be a priority to you, not forever, but…I wish…I wish that you could stay. That you’d choose me.” Her voice cracks. “That you could be free to love me.” My heart fractures, every instinct in me wanting to open my eyes and gather her into my arms, butI hold firm. I remain still as stone and allow her this confession. “I wish…I wish I could be enough.”
I feel her retreat, and heat burns the backs of my eyes because everything she wishes for, I wish for too. But it can never be. Because I am bound by duty. By code.
Leela is a wish that must remain unfulfilled.
Part Six
Did someone say this was the final dance?
Chapter 37
Feck This Scroll
BLUE
The fecking scroll is a curse. ’Aven’t slept a wink since I found it. I swear the thing whispers in me sleep, but I can’t bring meself to get rid of it. Like, I need to keep it, to do somefin’ with it. There are no words on the damn thing, just musical notes.
It’s a song, and I know nothing ’bout music, but I swear I hear music in me dreams now.
It’s been a rough few weeks, until a few days ago, cos a few days ago, two things ’appened. We got word that the demigods were on their way back from Shantivan and the sea trial, and also that there’d be a ball of something, an’ suddenly the awful twisty feelin’ in me belly ebbed, and I knew what had to ’appen.
Seema, Alia’s hummingbird, flutters close as I make my way through the complex to the central hall. Seema’s in the nest next to mine. ’Er and the native demigods’ anchors are grouped together, but we’ve been chatting at the barracks, an’ she’s nice.
Once at the central hall, it’s a case of dodgin’ boots to get to the stage where the musicians are tunin’ their instruments. Today they practice, and tomorrow they play for real.
Because tonight…Tonight Leela comes home.
Okay, so the festivities ain’t just cos of that. Some celestial moon event is happenin’. Apparently, it only happens once every hundred years so, yeah, big deal.
But I want me Leela to ’ave a surprise too. A special song just for her.
Look out, Blue,Seema calls out.
I dodge to avoid a particularly heavy set of boots, then leap onto the stage.
One of the musicians’ brows flick up in surprise. I mean, the guy has goat’s legs, so if anyone should look surprised it should be me, but whateva.
“I got a song fa ya to play.” I pull the scroll from me pocket and hand it over.
He tekes it, unrolls it, and his brows go up even higher. He passes it to his companion, who does the same brow thing.
Why are they doing that with their eyebrows?Seema asks.
Dunno. Maybe they’re impressed?
Finally, one of the trio speaks. “Never seen a tune like this.”
“Can ya play it?”
