Page 110 of Damned and Broken Gods
“They just announced it. No air test, just the big test.” She pauses in her pacing and looks up at me. “The Authority wants me dead. Chandra basically said so. He tried to trick me into cheating.” She groans. “I can’t believe that everyone is going to be put in danger because of me.”
My heart softens because of course her first concern would be for everyone else. “This is not your fault.” I cross the room and take her in my arms for the first time since our moment under the canopy on the isle, and the fact that she tenses before melting into me fractures my heart. Her hesitation shows how badly I’ve wounded her with my distance, but there will be no distance today or tomorrow because we’re running out of time.
Out of time…
I blink and focus on what she’s saying.
“Thought we would have more time,” she says.
My throat pinches. “Yes. So did I.”
She clutches me tighter, her breath shuddering as if she’s struggling to hold back tears, and hollow places open inside me, the pressure at the back of my mind escalating.
Mine…
Yes. She’s mine. And I must try and keep her. “Leela, come with me.”
She looks up, her eyes swimming with tears. “What?”
“When I leave. Come with me.”
Her mouth trembles. “I can’t. You know I can’t. I’m needed here. If change is to take place, then?—”
“I know.” And I understand her heart. Her desire to bring peace without conflict. “I know…I had to ask, though.”
“You could stay with me.” Hope flickers in the depths of her eyes. “Free, and by my side.”
I allow myself to consider it for a moment. To imagine myself free and at her side. Aiding her in her mission to liberate my people and all the others under Asura rule. It’s a pretty picture, but my gut doesn’t believe it. There is no freedom if I stay. Not for me and not for Leela, but that is something she must learn for herself, and when she does,Iwill be there to liberateher.
The hope in her eyes dies as she reads my thoughts on my face. “So…that’s it then…” She looks down, defeated.
I use the crook of my finger to lift her chin. “It won’t hurt so much once the bond is broken.”
She lets out a rough bark of laughter. “Do you really believe that?”
No. No I don’t. But she must. She needs to. “Yes, I do.”
She swallows and nods, and for a moment, I think she’ll pull away, but instead she moves closer and presses her forehead to my chest.
“I’ll miss you,” she says softly. “So fucking much.”
A hollow pit opens inside me at the same time as heat flares at my solar plexus.
Leela gasps softly and raises her head, a slight frown etched between her eyebrows.
The heat dies, and she blinks rapidly and shakes her head.
Did she feel it? The strange flare?
“Are you two done canoodlin’?” Blue says from his spot on the bed.
How did I miss his presence? “When did you come in?”
He lifts his furry chin. “Been here all along, big guy. But you two only got eyes fur each other. Rude.”
I reluctantly release Leela. “Come, it’s almost lunch time. Let’s eat and then…we go for a walk.” I smile across at Blue. “You too, little one.”
“Hey, who you callin’ little, you lug?”
