Page 45 of Damned and Broken Gods
I snorted a laugh. “How can you joke at a time like this?”
“Who says I’m joking?”
“Araz!” I lightly punched his arm then covered my face. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
He gently pulled my hands away from my cheeks. “Look at me.”
I met his warm gaze. “Go on, say something motivational.”
“No. I want you to tell me exactly what you’re afraid of.”
The tangled web of emotions inside me writhed. What was I afraid of? What exactly was I fucking afraid of? The answer hit me hard, leaving me breathless. “I…I’m afraid of not knowing which way I want this to go.”
His eyebrows pinched. “Go on…”
“Getting ascended without the trials would be easier. It would be faster but…I’m not sure if it’s best, because what if I’m not ready? And then if I’m not ready, then you’re stuck with me. And I’m not sure if mynot feeling readyis because I’m genuinely not ready or because I’m not ready…Not ready to let you go?”
His frown cleared, his gaze softening. “All right. That makes sense.”
“It does?”
“Yes, Leela, it does. In the most human way. Would you like my advice?”
“Yes, please.”
“Stop thinking and let fate take hold…for now. Whatever the outcome, we shall weather it together.”
“Unless you’re gone.” My eyes heated, and I blinked back tears. “What is wrong with me?”
Araz poured me a cup of tea. “Drink this. I hear that in your world, tea makes everything better.”
“What?”
He stared at me, sincere and earnest.
Laughter bubbled up my throat, but I choked it back and picked up the cup. “Thank you. You’re right. It does.” I sippedthe hot, sweet tea and closed my eyes, letting go of the anxiety. Que sera sera and all that.
A light knock on the door pulled me out of my zen moment, and Erabi entered the guest house. No trunks or bags in tow this time.
“Good morning.” She glided over to the table. “I heard about what happened last night.”
I set my cup down. “Look, if you’re going to lecture me about losing my cool, then don’t bother. Chandra already gave me a tongue lashing.”
“No, Leela, I was going to say…thank you. Not just from me, but from Yunimi and all the pari here. You spoke up for us, and we are grateful.”
“Oh…Thank you.”
She took a shuddering breath and clapped her hands. “Now to business. I will take you to the Sabha, but you will go into the chamber alone. Chandra will be on the Authority council, but he does not have a vote. As regent, he will preside over the proceedings. I can tell you that he has succeeded in garnering some support, namely from Asura Jogyan and Asura Bheema, who are also the nawab of Dharti and Paani house.”
“The people that David and Gillian answer to?”
“Yes, they must have put in a good word for you also.”
“So I have two votes out of six?”
“Yes. Two definite votes. Chandra believes he may have swayed Privan and that Danava Arpita will vote for you to ascend, simply to aggravate the Asura.”
“So four votes,” Araz said. “She’ll pass…”
