Page 102 of Pitcher Perfect
“Wasit, dude?” Robbie shouted.
“I don’t know anymore.” They sat with that statement for a while, the modern kitchen feeling sterile and cold. Then Mailer said, “This is out of my depth. I’m calling Burgess and Sig.”
“No,” Robbie shouted, jabbing his fork in the air in front of Mailer’s face, before his arm gave up and dropped like he was holding a bowling ball. “Okay.”
Robbie lay face down on the couch while Mailer talked on the phone in the other room. He couldn’t make out the conversation, but he overheard the phrasehe smells like cheese and ass. After that, he must have passed out, because when he woke up, Mailer was presenting him with another lasagna piping hot from the oven and someone was knocking at the door.
“That’s Sig and Burgess?”
“Yup,” Mailer confirmed, striding across the floor in his socks to let in Sir Savage and Sig—and they weren’t alone. Chloe, Sig’s future stepsister, breezed in with a beaming smile and Tallulah, Burgess’s girlfriend, entered more slowly and cautiously.
Burgess took Tallulah’s hand and guided her to a leather chair across from Robbie, grunting quietly for her to sit down, then proceeding to stand behind her with his arms crossed like a bodyguard. Meanwhile, Chloe took a while to stop flitting around the apartment checking everything out—the view, the mini beerfridge in the corner, a framed poster of Bobby Orr. Sig leaned against the wall and watched her explore with hawkish intensity, then tugged her into his side like he couldn’t stand the separation anymore.
Which was new. They usually just made blistering eye contact.
“Oh,” Robbie croaked. “Did you guys finally get together?”
“Yes,” Sig said in a hard voice.
“Yes,” Chloe bubbled.
A month ago, the kind of behavior currently being displayed by his two teammates and their significant others would have made Robbie roll his eyes. He got it now. Man, he completely understood. Finding your person was a miracle and once you did, keeping them close was pure necessity, which was probably why he felt drained of his will to live right now.
Sig stroked a hand down the back of Chloe’s hair. “Anyway, we called in the big guns to help you out.”
“So watch your language,” Burgess tacked on.
“And put on a shirt.”
Mailer disappeared into Robbie’s bedroom and came back with a gray Bearcats T-shirt, tossing it to him. And obviously he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, because the sleeve dipped into his lasagna and he almost started crying, but he managed to set aside the cheesy masterpiece and don the shirt. “I appreciate you all coming, but there’s nothing anyone can say or do to help the situation.”
“There is always a way to help, Robbie,” Chloe said comfortingly.
She started toward Robbie, as if planning to sit beside him on the couch, but Sig caught her around the waist and tugged her back. “Nope.”
“See?” Robbie threw a hand out. “This is the problem. Myreputation. Sig won’t even let his girl sit next to me when I smell like cheese and ass.”
Mailer winced. “You heard that?”
“It’s not just you, Robbie,” Chloe rushed to say. “He doesn’t even like me sitting next to my coworkers—and I’m in an orchestra. It’s part of the job description.”
Sig shrugged.
“Why don’t you tell us what happened, Robbie?” Tallulah prompted. “I’m sure we can piece together a solution. It’s probably a matter of simple communication.”
Burgess put a hand on Tallulah’s shoulder and nodded.
Robbie took the final bite of his lasagna, no recollection of when he’d wolfed down the entire tray or how much of it was in his beard. “Well, she hated me in the beginning because she overheard me bragging about my nocturnal activities. Honestly, I think I was too blown away by her to realize I was fucked from the start.”
“Language,” Burgess chided.
“Sorry.” He sighed with his entire aching body. “Anyway, she was in love with her brother’s best friend, who is this big, quiet guy with an Irish accent, as if I’m not already at a disadvantage. I offered to pretend to be her boyfriend to make him jealous... and teach her a few tricks while we waited for him to notice she’s a goddess walking among humans.”
“Tricks?” Chloe asked, nose wrinkled.
“You know...” Robbie put aside his empty lasagna tray with a heavy hand. “Flirting, kissing, going on dates... other stuff.”No big deal, just the most incredible sex of my life.“It had been established that I’m the master. She wanted to learn from me.”
“So... the whole time, you were essentially reminding her how skilled you are with women,” Tallulah deadpanned. “Go on.”
