Page 102 of Snow, Ice, and Spice
The words rest on the tip of my tongue, aching for me to speak them.
“We should get cleaned up and head to bed.” She smiles at me.
I hold back. I swallow, smile, and nod.
We get cleaned up, then rinse off. After we dry off, we head to my bed and I cradle her body into mine. She relaxes into me like she always does every night we’ve slept in the same bed together.
Tonight it’s different though. Itfeelsdifferent. And I know why.
As Maya falls asleep, I silently acknowledge it. I’m falling in love with this woman.
Chapter34
Maya
When I wake up, Theo’s not in bed.
I lift my head and gaze around the room. He’s nowhere to be found.
In my groggy state, I’m the slightest bit shocked. We’ve almost always woken up together ever since we started hooking up and to wake up without him feels…weird. Empty. Wrong.
Especially after last night.
I pad to the bathroom to pee and remember the look on Theo’s face when I surprised him with the dog sled ride. My heart pumps in my chest just thinking about how giddy and happy he was. I’ve never seen him like that.
And then I think about how when we got home and my sexy surprise for him went wrong, he wasn’t even fazed. How completely unbothered he was when I told him I got my period. At first, I was skeptical. But after what went down in the shower….
A faint pulse lands between my legs. He was definitely telling the truth when he said that my being on my period didn’t make him want me any less.
I smile to myself, but it fades when I remind myself that’s he not here right now.
Maybe the intensity of last night got to him?
I think back on that moment in the shower, right after having sex. Only sex doesn’t seem like the right word.
Making love?
Just thinking that has me feeling ridiculous. But honestly, that feels closer to whatever it is that I’m feeling…
I wash my hands at the sink and replay that moment in my head. How being together last night felt different from every other time we’ve been together. When he touched and grabbed me, it felt urgent but soft and tender too. And the intensity in Theo’s gaze when he looked at me…
How I stood there, waiting for him to say something, anything to acknowledge that feeling between us…
I shake my head as I dry my hands, annoyed with myself. This is exactly what I said I didn’t want. What I initially told Theo I wanted was a hook-up. Friends with benefits. Nothing serious. And that’s exactly what this is. So why am I getting all huffy when I wake up and he’s not here? It’s not like he’s my boyfriend. It’s not like he’s under any obligation to wake up with me or let me know where he’s gone off to.
Because you like him
“Duh. Of course I like him. I’m sleeping with him.”
I roll my eyes. And now I’m talking to myself. Great.
Don’t play coy. You planned a birthday surprise for him. When was the last time you did something so thoughtful for a guy you were sleeping with?
“Never.” It falls out in a breath.
I could lie to myself. I could say that Theo and I are friends and I’ve planned a million surprises for my friends and family. And that would be true.
But I know better. I did that for Theo because I care about him. Because his happiness means something to me.
