Page 124 of Snow, Ice, and Spice
I lean back in my chair, stunned at my cousin’s spot-on assessment.
The look in his eyes is still pointed, but the intensity is dialed back a bit. Like he feels bad for me.
“Don’t pretend it’s not true, Maya. I can tell you’re in love with Theo.”
My chest and my throat ache. “You’re right. I am in love with him. But sometimes love isn’t enough when two people’s lives are too different.”
“God, Maya. How do you even know that? You didn’t even give yourselves a chance to be in a relationship.”
I start to talk, but he keeps going.
“You don’t get it, do you? You didn’t even try.” He tosses up his hands, exasperated. “Okay, maybe you’re right. Maybe a long-term relationship between you and Theo would be a total disaster and you’d have a horrible breakup. Or maybe it would work out. Maybe you could have a dream life with your hot hockey player boyfriend and be happier than in your wildest dreams. That’s a possibility too, you know. But you’ll never know because you made up your mind that it wouldn’t work out before you could even attempt to see how it would actually go.”
I’m speechless, unable to say anything in response. Because Austin is right. I was so fixated on everything that would go wrong with Theo that I ignored everything that could go right between us. And so much between us was already so good…we loved living together and working together, and we were crazy about each other…
Our server starts to walk over to us, but he picks up that we’re having a charged conversation because he takes one look at us, does a U-turn, and scurries away.
“I’m not gonna feed you a bunch of bullshit and say that long-term relationships are always easy. They’re not. They aren’t always hot sex and cuddling in bed,” Austin says. “Sometimes you fight. Sometimes you compromise. Sometimes you drive each other crazy. Sometimes you both get stressed and busy and can’t see each other as often as you want. That’s life though. Shit happens and you figure out a way to work through it. Because if you’re with the right person, it’s worth it. It’s worth it to endure all that struggle and all that hardship because you’ve found your partner. You’ve found the one person in the world who makes you happier than anything and anyone.”
It feels like my heart is shattering as my cousin speaks. Everything he says makes sense.
Austin drains the rest of his water glass before refocusing on me. He looks hurt and frustrated and disappointed all at once.
“But you’ll never know what that feels like, Maya. You’ll never know the joy of building a life with the person you love most in the world. Because you’d rather let your fear call the shots. Because you want to be right more than you want to be happy.”
He stands up, drops money on the table, and walks off.
I sit there, rattled. His words land like an invisible anvil on my head. Now that my cousin has laid it all out for me, everything is crystal clear. I’ve been a selfish jerk who let my fear and my cynicism ruin everything I had with Theo—and everything Icouldhave had with him.
You want to be right more than you want to be happy
Austin’s words echo in my head like an alarm. He’s right. And I was wrong.
An unfamiliar surge of emotion rockets through me. It feels like adrenaline mixed with panic and regret. Clarity hits. I’ve been miserable without Theo. I’ve missed him every minute of every day I’ve been without him. I made the biggest mistake of my life by ending things with him.
I love him so, so much. And I don’t want to be without him anymore.
The muscles in my arms and legs twitch with the need to sprint to him even though I’m a thousand miles away from him right now.
I jolt up from the table anyway, nearly knocking my chair over. I take off out of the restaurant in the direction of my room.
I need to get out of here. I need to go to Theo right now and apologize to him. I need to see if I can fix this.
I need to tell him I love him.
My lungs and my legs are on fire as I pump faster, my brain in overdrive as I think about everything I’m about to try and pull off. Nerves explode inside of me. I hope I’m not too late.
Chapter43
Theo
Someone shoves me and I crash into the boards of the arena. I get the wind knocked out of me and choke through a breath.
“Oops,” the familiar voice behind me taunts.
I grit my teeth. Del Richards. Of fucking course.
I knew he was going to be an asshole to me. We fought the last time our teams faced off, and I’m certain he’s trying to get another rise out of me.
