Page 31 of Snow, Ice, and Spice
“Dead serious.” I take in how the hope in his gaze fades.
“That’s great,” I say quickly. “Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting…”
When I notice a flash of uncertainty in his blue eyes, I stop myself. I sound like a jerk. Theo is the last person on the planet that I’d ever think would do something like this, but I shouldn’t tell him that. That’s a shitty and hurtful thing to say.
“Seriously, Theo. That’s wonderful. Good for you for wanting to work with kids.” I smile at him, but his worried frown remains.
“I want to host it here, at Ingrid’s place. On the frozen pond in the back of the property, by the guest house.”
He gestures to the massive floor-to-ceiling window on the far side of the living room. The guest house is barely visible in the blue-black sky since it’s so late at night. A few seconds of staring and I can make out the snow-covered roof. I glance over at the pond, where the reflection of the full moon shines bright on the frozen surface.
“Oh…”
“And I need you to help me convince Ingrid to let me do it here,” he says.
I hesitate. “I don’t know. You know how much your cousin loves her place. I’m not sure if she’d be okay with having a bunch of little kids around—”
“And I need you to help me run the program,” he blurts.
I’m speechless. I wasn’t expecting him to say that either.
“Theo, I don’t know the first thing about coaching hockey.”
“I know,” he says, holding up a hand, like he knows he’s made a ridiculous request. “Look, I know this is a huge request, but…” He pauses like he’s taking a moment to collect whatever thoughts are racing in his head. “Ingrid told me that you used to work at a daycare so you have a lot of experience with kids.”
I let out an exasperated laugh. “That was almost ten years ago, in high school. And I only worked there for, like, four months.”
“That’s still four more months of experience than I have. You’re practically an expert compared to me,” he says, his hurried tone verging on desperate.
“Then why did you come up with this idea in the first place when you don’t even know what you’re doing?”
His broad shoulders slump and he gazes off to the side, out the massive floor-to-ceiling window on the far side of the living room. When he looks back at me, I’m jolted by the expression on his face. He looks so sad and defeated.
“Maya, people think I’m a joke. They think I’m nothing more than a hockey player who parties and fucks a lot. It’s kind of hurtful.”
I’m taken aback at the blunt way he describes himself. He seems so vulnerable and stripped down right now. It’s so different from the cocky charmer I’m used to seeing.
I think about his social media posts that I saw, how his overall vibe is smug, fun-loving, party boy pro athlete. I wonder how much of that is truly who he is…and how much of Theo is this different side he’s showing me now.
“I know that’s my fault. I was an irresponsible dipshit for a long time. I only cared about hockey and having a good time.” He clears his throat, the look in his eyes shy, like he’s embarrassed. “I was pretty reckless and it never occurred to me that I shouldn’t be because I never had to take anything other than hockey seriously in my life. And, um, well, now I’m paying the price for that, and I’ve got no one to blame but myself. I can’t get away with the crap I used to. But honestly, I don’t want to. I want to be better. I want to show people that I can be more than the worst of what they think of me.”
He goes quiet for a moment. “I’ve always thought it would be fun to work with kids. It’s just…no one’s ever asked me to. They’ve always thought I wasn’t responsible enough, wasn’t good enough.”
Something about the way he’s talking to me hits deep. That cocky jokester façade is gone. He’s being so raw and honest right now. And honestly? I can relate to how he feels. I know what it’s like to have people write me off as flaky and vapid. For the past several years I’ve jumped from job to job, city to city, without any real plans or goals, just floating around, waiting for something to stick. And people think I’m a joke because of it. They think that I’ll never amount to anything, that I’ll never be successful or have a meaningful career. And I fucking hate it.
That surge of empathy I feel for Theo slowly morphs into determination.
“Okay. I’m in.”
Theo’s brow jerks up in disbelief. “You are?”
I nod. “I don’t know what it’s like to be in your position. But I know how it feels to have people write you off as someone to not take seriously.” My gaze falls to my lap as I go quiet. “It really sucks. And it makes you want to prove everyone wrong.”
I glance up and see Theo looking at me, sincerity shining in his blue eyes. “You too, huh?”
I nod. “I’m the free spirit of the family. Always moving and traveling. I never keep a job or an apartment for very long. Never mind that I’ve always managed to support myself. Almost everyone kind of writes me off as a flake because I choose to live my life differently. My brothers constantly worry about me.”
Theo nods. “I kinda picked up on that when your family came over for breakfast the other day.”
