Page 99 of Deal with the Devil
“Don’t ignore this,” she begs, her eyes large and imploring. “Please. I’m not asking you to do this alone. I’ll stay by your side.I’ll be there. But you have to do something, Rafael. Youcan’tstay like this.”
The tears come next, shining and showing my reflection up at me. Confirmation that I’ve done this to her.He’sdone this.
We’ve pulled this woman in so many different directions, keeping her in the dark for so long, that she’s on the verge of tears as she pleads.
I lean in and kiss her, capturing her lips for the first time in who knows how long. But something tells me it’s been a while; it’s been so long that when our lips touch, it instantly feels like a homecoming.
It’s how things aresupposedto be. I’ve avoided the truth for long enough—and that includes my attempts to protect Portia from not only her investigations and the other crime families, but most of all, from myself.
When I pull back, I rest my forehead against hers, and I nod. “You’re right, dolcezza. I can’t avoid this. It would be letting him win.”
Portia’s eyes flick up to mine, wide and searching, full of so much emotion. Though she doesn’t say anything, I can tell there’s a lot on her mind.
Many things she wants to say even if she might not get the chance right now.
“It’s getting worse,” I explain. “I’ve tried to shield you from it—from him. From what I really am. I thought I could keep you on the outside. Keep him contained. But all I did was give him the opportunity to take you.”
“There’s so much to tell you. But first we have to get you help. Emergency, right now help.” Portia’s slender fingers reach for mine, seeking to pull me forward. “The limo should be passing by soon. Come on.”
But I don’t move.
I stay planted where I am, because… I can’t.
I couldn’t move even if I wanted to.
My legs are locked in place, weighted like concrete. The lack of cooperation is coming from my brain.
Inside my head, suddenly there’s a second presence clawing its way to the surface. I can sense his reemergence as he tries to overtake me, hear the intrusive thoughts that fill my head against my own will.
But I refuse to give up control. I refuse to let him take over again.
“No!” I growl.
It’s already too late.
The switch is flipped, and it’s like I’m a passenger inside my own head and body. I’m no longer in control as I yank my hand from Portia’s, teeth bared and lungs spitting air.
“What do you think you’re doing!?” he snarls at her through my mouth.Mylips that move. “Did you think you were going to pull one over on me? You andhim—conspiring behind my back like I wouldn’t find out?”
Portia stumbles half a step back, true horror widening her eyes. She stares as if she can’t fathom how to respond, thrown by how quickly he’s come back.
He turns toward the fountain, where I’d ripped the mask off and tossed it to the ground, and snatches it up.
But it’s as he goes to put it back on his face that I’m taking over again.
“Yes, you fucking invader!” I yell at him. “That’s exactly what we were going to do! Stay away from her or?—”
But the rest doesn’t come, because his intrusive thoughts win out, answering me before I can even finish what I was going to say.
“Or what, you motherfucker?” Diavolo roars through me. “What areyougoing to do? You’ve had your time—it’s my time now!”
“Stop it!” Portia cries out. “Both of you… we need to get you help!”
But we’re too caught up in our battle for supremacy to listen to her pleas.
He grips the mask to put it back on, determined to resume business as usual as he hijacks not only my body but my life. My other hand lashes out, catching my wrist to stop him.
I’m in a literal fucking fight with myself, struggling to keep him from putting the mask back on.
