Page 28 of Stay
I realize that Dr. Thompson is right. I’m not ready for this.
I almost laugh. I’m nowhere near ready for this. Look at me, I’m a complete mess. Even if he doesn’t see it yet…I am.
He reaches up, his hand settling under my chin before tipping it so he can study my eyes. My muscles stiffen at the contact.
My throat works as I try to tamp down my rising anxiety. Already my body is humming with nerves. My chest feels as if someone is crushing it in their fist. Needing to block out my surroundings, I screw my eyes tightly shut and inhale an unsteady breath through my nose before exhaling slowly from my mouth. I keep this up until the vise squeezing my chest slowly loosens and I can breathe again.
When I finally open my eyes again, I realize the lights in the arena have dimmed and we’re standing alone in the lobby. The sound of our combined breathing echoes off the cement walls. My face flames with hot licks of embarrassment. His hand still grips my chin as his gaze remains locked on mine. He breaks the physical connection between us by taking a step in retreat.
God, I am such a freak.
Even worse than that?
Cole has to realize it by now. Just look at me…I’m a fucking mess. I want to die of humiliation as I stand ramrod straight in the empty lobby. Well, I certainly won’t have to worry about him flirting with me anymore. Maybe that’s for the best.
What am I saying?
Of course, it is.
“Are you ready to go?” His voice is soft, which only makes me feel like more of loser. Why does he have to be so damn nice?
“Yeah.” I need to get out of here before I completely fall apart.
“Come on.” This time, he’s careful not to touch me.
I have no idea what is going through his brain, but I’m relieved he doesn’t try to hold my hand or throw an arm casually around my shoulders. And I’m grateful he doesn’t probe me with questions, because it’s doubtful I’d be able to answer them.
“I’ll take you home now.”
I nod as we leave the darkened arena behind us. The parking lot is deserted as we walk in silence to his car. He opens the door for me before leaning over and sliding the seatbelt carefully across my chest. After he snaps it firmly in place, he remains hunkered on the pavement next to me so that we’re eye level. His gaze searches mine in the darkness, as if he’s somehow able to sift through the thoughts I’m not strong enough to give voice to.
After what feels like an eternity, he whispers, “I won’t hurt you, Cassidy.”
Even though his words have something desperate twisting inside my chest, I say, “I’m sorry, I just can’t.”
He inhales a steady breath, filling his lungs completely, before exhaling it back into the atmosphere. Instead of arguing, he closes the door and walks around to the driver’s side before sliding in beside me. The ten-minute drive to the dorms is made in excruciating silence.
8
COLE
“What’s your problem, dude? We won!” Austin shouts from across the table in the noisy bar. “Fucking act like it.”
Before I can respond, his attention becomes ensnared by the curvy blonde perched on his lap. I’m surprised he even noticed me sitting across from him in the first place.
With a grunt, I nurse my beer instead of replying, because what am I supposed to say to that?
That I’m stuck on a gorgeous chick with the most beautiful ebony-colored hair I’ve ever seen. Or the biggest, clearest blue eyes I’ve had the sad misfortune of gazing into.
Fuck.
I’d get the shit kicked out of me if I said something like that.
And you know what?
I’d totally deserve it.
Hell, I probably deserve it for even thinking along those lines.
