Page 40 of Stay
Butterflies have winged their way to life and are fluttering around madly in the pit of my belly as I take a hasty step toward the door.
“Yeah, sure, but don’t change in there. All right?” His lips lift into a crooked smile. “Wait until you get back here to do that.”
My eyes flare as I carefully set the clothing down on the bed as if it’s a bomb that could detonate at any moment before fleeing to the bathroom down the hall. I shut the door and click the lock into place before leaning heavily against it. My heart slams almost painfully against my ribcage.
Only now do I wonder what I’ve gotten myself into.
Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.
I gnaw my bottom lip until it feels pulpy before squeezing my eyes tightly closed and doing a quick self-check. Inhaling a deep steady breath, I hold it captive in my lungs before slowly forcing it out again.
Nope, I’m not having any breathing issues.
My chest isn’t tight and achy.
I don’t feel nauseous, even though my belly is a jittery mess.
I’m…okay.
I’m not on the verge of freaking out.
Half a dozen deep breaths later, I feel more in control of myself and the situation.
When I return from the bathroom, Cole is sitting in the armchair tucked into the corner. He leans forward so that his elbows rest on bent knees. His long, muscular legs are bare and sprinkled with fine hair. When he hears me walk in, he glances up and meets my gaze. He’s already changed into a faded T-shirt and athletic shorts that are similar to the ones he gave me. My shirt and shorts are still sitting neatly folded at the end of the bed.
His steady gaze holds mine as he rises to his feet. “I’ll turn around so you can change.”
I release a nervous breath as he crosses his arms over his chest before turning his back to me. For a heartbeat, I stand there, strangely paralyzed before shaking myself out of the mental stupor and grabbing the soft T-shirt. I hold it up and take a better look at it.
Western Wolves Hockey.
My fingers trail over the navy embossed letters. I peek at him to make sure his back is still turned before bringing the shirt to my nose and inhaling.
Cole.
The fragrance is purely him. It’s a mix of the ocean and something that’s masculine in nature. The thought of wearing his clothes and cocooning myself in his scent has my belly hollowing out.
Even though the broad expanse of his back faces me, I still turn away before stripping out of my shirt and bra. A fine tremble racks my fingers as I slide the jeans down my hips and legs before whipping on Cole’s faded gray T-shirt and athletic shorts. The shorts are a few sizes too big and refuse to stay at my waist.
My head is bent as I try to tighten the drawstring. I’m startled when his fingers brush mine aside and pull the string tight, tying it in a knot that rests below my belly button. When his knuckles drift over the bare skin of my stomach, I suck in a deep breath.
His gaze slices to mine as he straightens, backing away until there’s once again distance between us. “Better?”
“Yes.” Those butterflies in my belly feel as if they are trying toescape. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. A small part of me wants to do more than just sleep in his bed. But the other part—the more cautious part—knows I’m not ready.
I’m probably pushing the boundaries of what I can handle without having a small—or god forbid,huge—freak-out. I don’t want Cole to see me like that. He’s already witnessed enough.
As I stand motionless, I realize that everything has quieted downstairs. My gaze slides from his to the queen-sized bed. My nerves ratchet up a couple hundred notches. I’ve spent the last nine months pushing people away and yet, somehow, Cole has managed to sneak past all my defenses.
The last thing I want to do is put myself in a situation that ends badly. I force my gaze back to Cole who silently watches me.
It’s as if he can read my thoughts, which is disconcerting on an entirely different level.
“I could pile pillows in the middle of the bed like a wall if that would make you feel better.” He pauses. “Or I could sleep in the chair. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
His earnest gaze holds mine before he offers a lopsided smile. “I promise, nothing will happen. We’ve totally slow-tracked this relationship.”
I can’t help but believe him. Against my better judgment, his calm words dissolve the tension bubbling up inside me.
