Page 48 of Stay
Not only am I running with Cole three times a week, but I also meet up with him twice a week to work out on the ice. We usually get to the rink around five in the morning before the place opens. It’s amazing to have a full sheet of perfectly smooth ice all to ourselves. Those early morning sessions with Cole are the best part of my day.
“Do you think that’s contributing to the way you’ve been feeling lately?” She studies me before jotting down a few notes.
“Yes.” Although it’s not the only reason. “Definitely.”
Unease blooms in my belly as I nibble at my lower lip. I need to be honest with her. Keeping secrets from your therapist defeats the purpose of having one.
Dr. Thompson continues to study me in that quiet way of hers. “Is there something else I should know about?”
Over the course of the last month, I’ve grown to value Dr. Thompson’s input and advice. Without a doubt, I realize that she has my best interest in mind, and it helps to hear an objective perspective on some of the issues I’ve been struggling with.
“There is something else.”
More like someone else.
“All right.” With a raised brow, she patiently waits for me to continue.
It takes everything inside me to push those two little words out into the atmosphere. “A guy.”
Her expression remains neutral. “A new one? Or the one from before?”
I gulp, remembering how Cole triggered two anxiety attacks. Well, a full-fledged one and a sort-of one. I’m fairly certain that’s splitting hairs.
“The one from before,” I quietly admit, unable to stop myself from fidgeting under her steady gaze.
Air gets trapped in my lungs as I steel myself, waiting for the censure I’m sure that will follow.
Instead, she nods before jotting down a few more notes. “Have you been spending a lot of time together?”
I hesitate, terrified she’ll tell me that it’s in my best interest to break things off with him, and that I need to focus on myself and school instead of a new relationship.
“Yes.”
“And there haven’t been any anxiety attacks?”
I shake my head. “None at all.” I can’t imagine having another attack with Cole. I find his presence so calming and feel so at ease with him.
She falls into another silence before asking, “Are you sleeping together?”
Heat rushes to the surface of my cheeks as I shake my head. “No, but I’ve spent the night with him. We’re taking this relationship slow, and he’s okay with that.”
A kernel of hope flares to life when she doesn’t immediately suggest I stop seeing him. I like Cole more than I’ve ever liked anyone before. Even though we’ve both agreed not to rush this, I know where it’s heading, and I don’t want it to end.
“It certainly sounds like this relationship is serious.”
I release a steady breath before a smile curves my lips. “I think it might be.” Until this very moment, I didn’t realize how much I wanted it to be.
“Have you shared your past with him?”
Even though the question is asked lightly, it sits heavily betweenus. And just like that, a huge weight settles in the middle of my chest, making it difficult to breathe.
“No.” Barely can I force out the response.
We’re taking this slowly, I remind myself. He’s all right not knowing everything about me. At some point I’ll have to tell him, but we’re not there yet.
With a nod, she asks more specifically, “Have you told him anything about the last year?” Her gaze is direct and unwavering.
“No.”
