Page 56 of Stay
A feeling of helplessness washes over me as I shake my head. I can’t do that right now. Cole isn’t mine to claim. I have no rights to him. In the end, I’ve decided it’s best to let him go. He deserves a girl who has her shit together, and that’s not me.
I get whiplash when she changes the subject. “Are you coming with us tonight?”
Already I know she’ll be hanging out with Austin, which probably means Cole too. There’s no way I can remain strong around him. He’s become a pro at breaking down my defenses.
I tear my gaze away from hers before mumbling, “Sorry, can’t. I’ve got homework to finish up.”
Brooklyn stares at me for a long moment. “It’s Friday night, and once again you’re playing the lame card.”
“Yup.” I give her a thin smile, thankful she’s accepted the excuse instead of arguing about it.
“Whatever. Don’t bother waiting up for me. I’ll probably crash at Austin’s tonight.”
“I figured.”
A few minutes later, Brooklyn walks out the door, leaving behind a cloud of perfume in her wake. It’s not like I was making up excuses to avoid running into Cole. I actually have a ton of reading to plowmy way through, two homework assignments due on Monday, and an econ paper to outline. Can I start it all tomorrow and still have it done with enough time to spare?
Probably.
If I’m experiencing any remorse about pulling away from Cole, I try not to dwell on it. Instead, I bury myself in my work. Two hours later, I’m at the beginning stages of my outline for the econ paper when my phone chimes with an incoming text.
Ran into Brooklyn, she says you’re staying in?
I freeze, unsure if I should answer the text. I don’t want to get sucked into a conversation with him. I’m afraid of getting too wrapped up in him.
If I’ve learned anything, it’s that being with Cole is easy.
Too easy.
It was the trip home that had me seriously reconsidering my decision to see Cole. Little did my father realize that he’d echoed the same concerns Dr. Thompson had broached during our session. I can’t help but wonder if they’re both right.
Maybe the best course of action is to focus on straightening out my life before getting involved with someone. At this point, I’m still finding my way. Even though everything seems to be going well, that doesn’t mean it can’t turn to shit at the drop of a hat.
Carefully, I set the phone on my desk before returning my attention to my econ outline. Ten minutes slide by and I can’t seem to pick up the threads of my previous thoughts. Frustration roils through me because I know Cole is the reason for my inability to concentrate. I snap up the phone before reading over his text and tapping out a reply.
Lots of homework.
His response pops up almost immediately.
Can I come up?
My eyes widen.
Come up?
That would mean Cole is already here.
At the dorm.
I grip the thin device in my hand before squeezing my eyes tightly shut. I can’t deny that part of me is leaping for joy, because I’m dying to see him. But I also realize that it’s a slippery slope. The more time we spend together, the more difficult it is to keep my barriers firmly intact.
The phone chimes again, snapping me out of those thoughts.
Cassidy? Are you there?
Yes. Come up.
Ok. See you in a few.
