Page 87 of Stay
“What?” A smile curves his lips upward as his golden-hued eyes lock on mine. Cole has such a direct, unflinching stare. Sometimes I wonder if he can see straight down to my soul.
“Nothing.” Glancing away from him, I look around the cute Italian restaurant Cole chose for us. “This place is really nice.”
There are crisp white cloths covering each table and the lighting is dim. Even though the atmosphere is intimate, I notice other students dining here as well. It seems like a strangely popular place for being so far from campus. My guess is that the aroma permeating from the kitchen is the reason for that. Although, it’s doubtful I’ll be able to force much down.
Cole takes in the interior as if seeing it through my eyes. I’msurprised by the hint of sadness that lurks in his eyes. “My parents used to take me here when I was a kid. It was my dad’s favorite restaurant.”
Not understanding the pensive look or somber tone, I ask, “Do you still come here with your family?”
His gaze falls to the menu on the table. Silence falls over us as he sucks in a breath before releasing it. Only then does he glance up again. There’s a heaviness to the atmosphere that wasn’t there before.
“My dad died when I was ten.”
Stunned by the admission, I reach across the table and cover his hand with my own. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper, “I didn’t know.”
How is it that I didn’t know something so important?
The loss of a parent…that devastating.
He gives me a forced smile, one that’s meant to be reassuring. “It happened a long time ago.”
I shake my head unable to fathom what it would be like to lose my mom or dad. “That must have been really difficult.” I gulp as hot waves of emotion flood my chest. Difficult doesn’t begin to describe that kind of loss.
Devastating.
“He was hit by a drunk driver and died at the scene. There wasn’t anything that could have been done for him. The kid who caused the accident walked away without a scratch.”
My heart twists as I squeeze his hand. “That’s terrible. I’m so sorry.”
The sentiment feels flimsy. There’s nothing I can say that will dull the pain of his loss. Losing a parent so abruptly…
I can’t imagine it.
My parents and I are going through a rough patch, but they’re still there if I need them. Hopefully, with enough time, we’ll be able to mend what’s broken between us.
Cole doesn’t have that luxury.
“For a long time, life really sucked.” His gaze drops to the table. “I guess that’s why I have a hard time understanding how people can just cut each other off. No one would do that if they understood whatit felt like to have someone ripped from their lives. There are no second chances to repair relationships. You have to make peace with their death the best you can and move on.”
A wet lump of sawdust settles in the middle of my throat, making it impossible to breathe as his words churn through my head.
What can I say to that?
Cole doesn’t have a father, and would probably give anything to have him back in his life, while my family is barely on speaking terms.
It all feels so pointless.
A heavy silence falls over us as we sit quietly, each lost in our own private thoughts.
When he clears his throat, I glance up. “The tattoo on my side is for my dad. It’s the Mathews family coat of arms. I wanted something permanent that would be with me forever since he couldn’t be. Every time I look at it, I’m reminded of how much he meant to me and how much I loved him.”
His thickly spoken words have unspent emotion pricking the backs of my eyes. My heart twists for the little boy Cole had once been.
The one who’d lost his father.
The one who still misses him.
“I’m sorry. I wanted this to be a nice dinner. I didn’t mean for our conversation to get so heavy.” He reaches for my hand before bringing my fingers to his lips and pressing a soft kiss against my knuckles.
