Page 89 of Stay
And just like that, the bottom falls out of my world and I’m in freefall. The acidic taste of bile rises up in my throat as my wide gaze settles on Luke again and I search his face with more care. It’s only then that something clicks in the far recesses of my brain. If he hadn’t pushed the issue, it’s doubtful I would have recognized him. It makes me wonder if a small part inside me had tried to mentally block it out.
But I see it now.
Luke played on the men’s hockey team at Dartmouth last year. Maybe second or third string. He hadn’t been clean shaven like he isnow. As recognition sets in, my stomach sinks to the bottom of my toes as it all falls jarringly into place. My breath hitches painfully. In that moment, I want to bolt from the restaurant.
“You look just like someone I went to school with. The resemblance is kind of freaky.” He continues to scrutinize every inch of my face, just like when we’d danced together. “Do you have a sister or cousin who plays women’s hockey at Dartmouth?”
A fine sweat breaks out across my palms as I shake my head. “Nope, no sisters or cousins at Dartmouth.”
Even though he shrugs, the look in his eyes says he doesn’t believe me. The silence at the table turns stifling.
“I guess you’ve got a doppelgänger out there, Cassidy,” he says nonchalantly.
It takes effort to pull my stiff lips into a thin smile. “Yeah, maybe.”
Bile churns at the bottom of my belly like a washing machine on spin cycle.
Gaze holding mine captive, he leans toward me, pressing against the table that separates us. “The similarities are almost uncanny.”
I need to get out of here right now.
He remembers that horrible night.
Even thinking about it makes me cringe as panic spreads through me like poison.
Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.
The last thing I want is for Cole to hear the entire sordid story from Luke.
As if in slow-motion, I turn to Cole. “I’m ready to go, if you are.”
Relief washes over his expression as he nods. As we come to our feet, I scoot away from the table. Nerves prickle along my skin.
Luke rises to his feet and nods to a table full of guys across the restaurant.
Cole gives them a chin lift in greeting before clapping Luke on the shoulder. “All right, I’ll see you at practice tomorrow.”
“Yup. Catch you later, man.” His gaze locks on me. “It was niceseeing you again, Cassidy.” His words are light, but there’s an undercurrent woven throughout them.
“You, too.” I force a slight smile before hightailing it from the dining area and shoving through the glass doors. As soon as I’m outside, I inhale gulps of chilly air, needing to calm my racing heart.
How can I turn around and tell Cole the truth when I just lied? And Luke didn’t look convinced either. He remembers the night I’ve tried so hard to forget.
It’s one thing for me to rehash last year without anyone else knowing the details, but now Luke is at Western. He saw me at my absolute worst and probably knows things I can’t remember.
Even if I could have gone back to Dartmouth, I wouldn’t have. Western was supposed to be a fresh start. No rumors or whispers. No ghosts from the past to haunt me.
The little bit of salad I’d forced myself to choke down roils in my belly, and for one awful moment, I wonder if I’ll be sick in the middle of the parking lot.
“Cassidy?” I jump as Cole lays a hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay? You don’t look so good.” He searches my eyes in the darkness under the bright parking lot lights.
I glance away, not wanting him to see too much. I can’t tell him the truth.
Not now.
My plan had been to get it all out in the open so there wouldn’t be any more secrets between us, but the words are sticking in my throat like a lump of wet sawdust.
