Page 34 of All That Glitters
I wanted violence when normally I wasn’t a violent person.
But I was no longer normal. Nothing about me was normal anymore.
I needed to leave. I needed to get out of the room. I needed to be away from everyone.
I didn’t trust myself.
I started to push myself away from the table, but then… Beside me, Helen laughed at something, and the red haze began to fade. I didn’t want to think about what that meant now any more than I wanted to think about what it meant when I was around her before.
I settled back in my seat. “You aren’t talking to me,” I accused.
“I didn’t know the passing of dishes required a conversation.”
“You’re talking to Brax and Hale.”
“Hale is my brother and Brax is between us. Hale is also talking to your mother. Are you jealous of that, too?”
“I can’t decide if you hate me or not, Helen. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this side of you.”
“And what side do you think you’re seeing?”
“I don’t really know, and I guess it doesn’t matter. But… Do you? Hate me?”
She shook her head and for a moment the coldness in her eyes, warmed.
“I don’t hate you.”
“No?”
“No. I hate what you’re doing.”
“And what am I doing?”
“This isn’t the time.”
“Tell me when the time is and I’ll be there.”
“Drop it, Ashton.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
“Learn.”
She turned her head away, dismissing me, dismissing the strange thing that I’d brought to life between us.
She’d always had a little crush on me and though I’d never acknowledged it before, I was going to exploit it.
Helen Troye had grown into a beautiful woman. She’d been a bit of a gangly teenager, a cute girl, but she’d been my friend and the sister of my best friend. There were limits and codes and lines I never crossed.
But now… Now I couldn’t get her off my mind and out of my head. The moment I realized that until I could get back on the track, my way to wreck Hale would be through his sister, was the moment my desire for her flared to life.
She was no longer my friend, though I knew she didn’t understand that. Not yet. She would, though, soon enough.
She was a means to an end and it would be a really good idea if I remembered that every time she was around.
Like right now. I could focus on the other conversations around me, talk to people and try to be a civilized human being.
I could drink.
