Page 74 of All That Glitters
Every part of this that she pulled from me, that she exposed angered me, but then, I’d started this whole thing, so I only had myself to blame. She would do nothing less than fight for me.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“How am I looking at you?”
Her opinion should be interesting.
“I’m not sure, but I don’t think I like it very much.”
“Oh come on, Helen.”
“Oh come on, what?”
“Are you scared of me?”
“Should I be?”
“I’m harmless.”
She snorted a laugh and a smile spread across my face.
“You’re anything but harmless, Ash.”
She was right, but the banter put me at ease in one respect and on edge in another. “A pussycat, really.”
“You’ve never been soft and cuddly a day in your life.”
“Are you sure? Because I don’t think I’m as fearsome as you say I am.” I was worse and we both knew it. The longer we kept this up, this moment, the more convinced I was that the thing I needed to help me sleep through the night was the same thing I needed to help me get back my life back on track. It was really one and the same.
Helen.
Sleeping the night with her, though… It wasn’t a good idea. In fact, it was a terrible idea. It implied something more than what our arrangement entailed. Even though there wasn’t a contract or a formal agreement, we’d both agreed to abide by the informal terms. I would use her as I saw fit, and I would trust her to keep my fears and anxieties between us as she helped me try to overcome them.
Given the part of the conversation about her driving, I couldn’t help but wonder if I needed to help her with the same thing.
She was very good at what she currently did, but I saw the spark in her eyes when she talked about beating Hale to the line during their test with Billy Greene’s team.
“Are you sure? The way you bullied me into this with you…”
“Bullied you? I bullied you?”
“What would you call it?”
“Talked into? Heavily suggested? Coerced?”
“How is any of that different from bullying?”
“I appealed to your tender heart.”
She opened her mouth but quickly closed it. She had no defense for that and she knew part of it was true.
I used our friendship and her kindness and her love for her brother against her to get her to help me, to get her into bed.
Her love for me, too.
Although, we hadn’t actually made it to a bed, yet.
“You forced your way into my good graces.”
