Page 6 of With A Little Luck
I’m in a nightmare of my own making.
That morning when I woke up in the hotel room with Ridge, I truly did intend to leave my number, but I got distracted by all the calls from Donna…
Gran passed away that night.
Everyone has told me that she’s at peace. Being with her pack is what she wanted. And I know that. The guilt still threatens to eat me alive when I think about the fact I wasn’t there.
Not that I could have done anything.
If Donna hadn’t been the one to find her at her five a.m. check-in, then it would have been me when I went in to wake her up for breakfast.
That might have traumatized me even worse. I’ve never been alone with a dead body, and I can imagine I would have panicked rather than taking the methodical approach Donna did.
My guilt over not being there when Gran passed is only compounded by the fact I left Ridge with no way to contact me.
Of course, there’s a chance he never would have called, but if I had left my number, it would help offset some of this never-ending regret I have over how I handled things that morning.
I certainly wasn’t expecting to end up pregnant.
That’s for damn sure.
I also can’t be too surprised, considering I ended up lost to the fog for several hours. The first time we had sex, I remember him using a condom, but after we moved to the shower… It’s all a big blank spot in my memory.
Dr. Lindsay told me that if my body was fighting the suppressants, there’s a good chance that my birth control was ineffective too. If I had known that, I’d like to say I would have been more careful, but the reality is, it’s practically impossible to fight biology once the fog takes over.
She was also kind enough to go over the math with memultiple times, and based on the last time I was with Pete, there’s statistically zero chance the baby is his.
My one-night stand with Ridge was enough to knock me up. It’s kinda insane to think about. Having a baby wasn’t in my immediate plans, but I’ve always wanted children. It’s just happening a little sooner than I planned.
“I know you’re experiencing some guilt over not being able to locate the baby’s father, but that happens sometimes,” Dr. Lindsay says, like she can read my thoughts. “At this point, you have to take your feelings about him out of the equation and make the safest choice you can for yourself and your daughter.”
My gut churns.
I hear what she’s saying.
It’s just so overwhelming to think about.
Ridge was a really nice guy—at least, the little I got to see—and I feel terrible over the mess I’ve gotten us into.
I’ve tried everything I can think of to locate him, from going back to the bar repeatedly to begging the front desk staff at the hotel to give me his information.
They refused.
So, I tried again.
And again a different night.
Then I saw a sign that said they were hiring, but unfortunately, the manager recognized me from the last time he told me to get lost.
I wouldn’t have been above taking a peek at their system to gain his full name and information…
Only, the wholetrying to get hiredthing ended up getting me permanently banned from the premises. At this point, the bar owner probably has my picture in the back office, warning his bartenders about me.
And still, I’ve found nothing.
I almost think Ridge must have been on vacation or in town for business, because even social media stalking of residents of Burlington produced nothing.
That’s not even getting into the embarrassing in-person stalking I did of anyone named Ridge with a Burlington address…
