Page 62 of With A Little Luck
“I’m sorry about your grandma. Did you try to look for me once you found out about the baby?” I ask, and I don’t know why it even matters. It’s not like she would have found anything if she had.
What Leo and Shaw beat into my head is true. Even if she looked for me, she would have been up against Calder and his team’s tech skills. Easton keeps them on the payroll for a reason.
She never had a chance.
Not unless she would have woken me up to ask me to go with her.
If she had, I would have.
Then when Easton called, I would have told him to fuck off.
So many things would have been different if she had just woken me up.
“I did. I think I might have reached Trigg-levels,” she says, going on to describe how she went back to the bar and the hotel so many times they banned her from the hotel premises. “I mean, if you need an inventory of anyone in Burlington named Ridge, I have a list. I even moved on to anyone with Ridge as part of their last name. I might have spent a month making sure to get eyes on each one to be sure it wasn’t you.”
I bark a laugh. “You did a little stalking of your own.”
“Yeah, I really did.”
And I let myself be sent off from job to job, always telling myself that I’d find her when I made it back to Vermont.
“Shit, Quincy, I’m sorry. This isn’t all on you,” I admit. “As my friends so poignantly drilled into my head, I would have had a much easier time finding you than vice versa.”
“Did you look for me at all?” she asks, her voice small, almost like she doesn’t really want to know.
“I intended to,” I say, grimacing. “Only my boss sent me to Vegas that same day, and I kept thinking I’d dig around for you when I got back. But then the next job came up before I even got back home, and that happened over and over again. I should have put my foot down months ago.”
“That’s tough,” she says, focusing on King. “I bet it’s hard being away from him.”
I think this would be easier to handle if she just called me a hypocrite for not being out knocking on doors to track her down. Her disappearing that morning hurt my feelings, and my pride fucked me over real good.
“It is, but Knox stays here when I’m out of town, and King has his own dog sitter who comes twice a day to take him for walks.” Why am I still going on about my dog? “It bothered me when I woke up and you were gone. I thought we had a connection.”
“We did,” she says, grabbing my hand and giving it a squeeze. “I felt safe with you. I know it doesn’t mean much now, but before I even found out about the baby, I was hoping I would see you again.”
“Did you find out the gender?”
“I did, but if you want to be surprised, I can keep it to myself.” She frowns. “I’ll ask Hart and Trigg to do the same.”
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from growling. It really irks me that they both know, and I don’t.
Dammit.
I can hold a grudge like nobody else, but I have to figure out how to let go of this resentment. If I can’t, it’ll destroy any chance I have of building a life with Quincy.
What Leo said was like a punch to the gut. I don’t want to only get to see the kid half the time or, even worse, only on birthdays and holidays and a month during summer break.
I don’t want Hartley fucking Adams there filling the role I’m supposed to be filling.
I got lucky with stepdads that love me, so I shouldn’t shit on anyone who steps up and takes care of a kid that isn’t biologically their own, and I’m not. It’s just hard to imagine him there in the baby’s day-to-day life while I’m out on contract after contract.
Although, if it comes down to it, Hartley is a much more viable option for a packmate thanTrigg.
“I want to know.” My hand pulls from under hers as it rests on King’s back, and I bring it to her stomach like I have the right.
“A girl,” she says, and my heart stutters.
Jesus.
