Page 120 of Toxic Salvation
“Famous last words.” After I give him another spoonful, he asks, “Didn’t you have a shift today?”
“I did. But when Luka’s school called in the middle of my rounds, I rescheduled everything and left.”
“You could have sent Pavel or Osip.”
I set the spoon down and look at him. “When you’re sick, you want your mom, Kovan. Doesn’t matter if you’re nine or ninety. You want someone who cares about you to make you soup and tell you everything’s going to be okay.”
He laughs weakly. “I remember that feeling. Vaguely. Except my mother wasn’t the soup-making type.”
It’s the first time he’s mentioned his mother voluntarily. “What was she like?” I ask.
“The kind of woman who packed her bags and moved to the other wing of the house when any of us got so much as a sniffle. We didn’t see her again until we were healthy.” He pauses. “Last I heard, she was touring Europe with some twenty-year-old boy toy she picked up in Monaco.”
That makes me wince. “She left after your father died?”
“The minute the funeral was over,” he confirms. “Can’t say I blame her. She was never much of a mother anyway.”
“That must have been hard growing up.”
“Not really. You can’t miss what you never had.” He catches my hand as I reach for the spoon. “I have everything I need right here.”
I feed him the rest of the soup in comfortable silence, hyperaware of the way he watches my every move. When the bowl is empty, I pull out the jar of Vicks VapoRub.
“This will help you sleep,” I explain. “My mom used to do this when Waylen and I were sick.”
“Is this your way of trying to get me naked?”
I laugh, already unbuttoning his shirt. “You’re running a fever and delirious. I’m being a medical professional.”
“Right. Medical professional.” But he’s smiling as I spread the mentholated gel across his chest, his muscles relaxing under my touch.
I’m almost finished when the door creaks open. Luka peeks his head in. He looks small and lost in his oversized pajamas.
“Hey, sweetheart,” I call softly. “Can’t sleep?”
“I woke up and you weren’t there,” he says sadly, and for maybe the first time since I’ve known him, he looks exactly like the nine-year-old he is.
“Come here.”
I slide into bed next to Kovan and pat the space between us. Luka climbs under the covers and immediately curls against my side with a contented sigh.
I press my hand to his forehead. “Good news. Your fever’s breaking. You should be back to normal tomorrow.”
“Can I sleep here tonight?” His voice is muffled against my shirt.
“Of course.” I wrap my arms around him, and he melts into me like I’m exactly what he’s been missing his whole life.
Over his head, Kovan watches us with an expression I can’t read. Soft and fierce at the same time.
“This feels right,” Luka murmurs, already half-asleep. “I’m glad you’re my mom now, Vesper.”
My heart thumps. “I’m glad about that, too, sweetheart.”
“Luka, wasn’t there something you wanted to ask Vesper?” Kovan prompts gently. “No time like the present.”
Luka buries his face deeper into my shirt. “Not now.”
“You know you can ask me anything, right?” I stroke his hair. “There’s nothing you could say that would upset me.”
