Page 15 of Toxic Salvation
She starts to walk away, and panic claws at my chest. “Wait,” I growl.
She stops but doesn’t turn around. “What?”
A thousand words crowd my throat, but none of them make it past my lips. How do I tell her that I’ve been dying without her? That every day since I walked away has been a fresh hell? That seeing her today has made me realize I’d rather live recklessly with her than safely without her?
How do I tell her that the baby she’s carrying—mybaby,ourbaby—changes everything?
I open my mouth to speak. The apology is right there, waiting to be voiced, and with it lies all that stupid hope. The hope that there’s a happy ending in the cards for us, somewhere, if only one or both of us are brave enough to reach for it.
What comes out of my mouth instead is, “Good. Go away. Stay away. We don’t need you anymore.”
6
VESPER
It hurts so badly that I almost slap him.
Maybe I should. If nothing else, it would make me feel better. And if it leaves a scar? Well, Kovan can add it to his fucking collection.
I turn around slowly, certain I must have misheard him. But one look at his face tells me I heard him perfectly.
His expression is carved from stone, those green eyes cold and remote. The same eyes that used to look at me like I was his everything now regard me with complete indifference.
We don’t need you anymore.
“Good to know,” I manage to spit out. “And so kindly phrased. Anything else you’d like to add before I disappear forever?”
His face hardens even more, if that’s possible. Those green irises turn into bright flints of ice. He shakes his head. “The fact that they called you was a mistake. It won’t happen again.”
“Wonderful. Now, I’m just gonna say goodbye to Luka, and then I’ll fuck off forever, so you can?—”
“No.”
I pause. “What?”
“I said no.” He advances closer. “You will not say another word to Luka. I don’t want you having any more contact with him. It’ll only hurt him.”
I stare at Kovan in complete disbelief. I just flashed a sonogram picture of his baby in front of him, and he can’t even bring himself to look at it. He can’t even bring himself toacknowledgeit. And now, he’s trying to ruin this brief little moment of joy, too?
“He’s not picking fights at school because he’s thriving without me, Kovan.” I step closer, forcing him to look at me. “Are you really so damn stubborn that you can’t see what’s right in front of your face?”
“We’re doing fine.”
A laugh bursts out of me, harsh and crazed. “What part of this is ‘fine’? I just saved your ass with the social worker! She was two seconds away from figuring out we broke up. If I hadn’t lied?—”
“You want a damn medal?”
I poke him hard in the chest. “What Iwantis for you to act like an adult for five fucking minutes. But apparently, that’s too much to ask.”
“You should go, Vesper.”
“Eliza thinks we’re still together now. Which means if you want to keep custody of Luka, we need to maintain this charade.”
His eyes narrow to slits. “I can handle my own problems. I don’t need you swooping in to save me.”
“Right.” I throw my hands up, my voice climbing toward hysteria. “Silly me for forgetting. Big, bad Kovan doesn’t need anyone, does he? Never mind that you only got custody in the first place because I helped you. That doesn’t count for anything!”
His jaw works silently, those green eyes burning holes through me.
