Page 116 of Toxic Temptation
He swallows a sob. “Uncle Kovan says Dad isn’t really dead, though. He says Dad’s body is gone but his spirit is still out there, in the stars.”
My heart clenches. That explains Luka’s obsession with astronomy. “That’s a really beautiful way to think about it.”
“Do you think your dad is up there in the stars, too?” he presses.
“I… It’s hard for me to believe in things I can’t see,” I admit, unwilling to lie to him. “But sometimes, I wish it were true. That he’s somewhere, watching over me.”
“I think he is.” Luka grins through glassy eyes. “I think both our dads are. And I have proof.”
“Really? Tell me.”
He shrugs as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “They sent us each other.”
I don’t know if I can speak without breaking down. So instead, I pull this fatherless angel into my arms and I hold him as tight as I possibly can.
Partly to comfort him.
Partly to hide my tears.
39
VESPER
Luka falls asleep halfway through our second movie.
I should have put him to bed hours ago, but after our conversation about dead fathers, bedtime seemed less important than letting him feel safe. Now, he’s sprawled across the sofa bed like a starfish, one arm flung over his eyes, mouth slightly open. I’m left to sit and stare at the flickering blue light of the projector, thinking about everything and nothing at once.
Eventually, I can’t brood any longer. I’m gathering our empty popcorn bowls when I hear the key in the lock.
My hands freeze around the ceramic. My pulse kicks up like I’ve been caught doing something I shouldn’t.
Which is ridiculous. This is my apartment. These are my dishes. I have every right to clean up after movie night with an eight-year-old.
But my body doesn’t seem to care about logic. Nervous heat crawls up my neck as footsteps move across the living room toward the kitchen.
Then: “That’s quite the setup in there.”
His voice cuts through me, all dark honey and smoke. I keep my back to him, focusing on rinsing butter from the bowls.
“We built a pillow fort. It was supposed to be cozy.”
“And was it?”
“The roof kept collapsing on us.” I force my voice to stay light. “But Luka thought that was hilarious.”
I set the bowls in the drying rack and turn around. Kovan is leaning against the opposite counter, arms crossed, watching me with those unreadable green eyes.
There’s only one thought running through my head now.
I missed him.
I wish I didn’t. That changes nothing, though. Despite three days of working double shifts to avoid him, the second he walks through my door, I’m right back to wanting things I can’t have.
“It’s late,” I say, already moving toward the doorway. “I should get to bed?—”
His hand wraps around my wrist as I try to pass. “Stay.” It’s not quite a question, not quite a command.
“Why?”
