Page 168 of Toxic Temptation
“She’s not used to this life,” I tell Luka, ruffling his hair. “She’s not tough like you are.”
“I think Vesper’s pretty tough, though. Just in a different way.”
“I agree,” Pavel chimes in.
I can’t stop the harsh laugh that escapes. All three of them stare at me. “Is that why she’s been avoiding me all week?” I ask them bitterly. “Because she’s so tough?”
“She’s scared, Uncle Kovan,” Luka chimes in simply.
“Scared of what?”
Luka meets my eyes with that unsettling wisdom kids sometimes have. “You.” Then he shrugs and turns to Osip. “Can we practice boxing now?”
They head to the ring, leaving me alone with Pavel.
“An eight-year-old just schooled you,” Pavel says quietly.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means Luka can see what you refuse to. That woman isn’t scared of your world. She’s scared of losing you. ”
The gym suddenly feels suffocating. Is the fucking A/C broken in here? I swear I can’t breathe.
“Don’t you see it?” Pavel continues, oblivious. “Why do you think she focuses on work instead of relationships? Why do you thinkshe agreed to this fake dating thing in the first place? She keeps people at arm’s length. Same as you.”
“I don’t?—”
“Cut the shit, Kovan. You treat love like it’s a death sentence. You don’t avoid it because you don’t want it; you avoid it because you’re terrified of what you could lose.Just. Like. Her.”
Everything Pavel’s saying makes too much sense. So I do what I always do when uncomfortable truths surface.
I shut it down.
“Spare me the fucking therapy session. I’m not complicated. I need Vesper for Luka’s custody case. That’s it.”
He’s clearly skeptical. “So you’re not upset that she’s been avoiding you?”
“I’m upset for Luka’s sake. The kid’s attached to her. I don’t need her around unless there’s a social worker visit.”
Pavel holds up his hands in surrender. “Whatever you say, man.”
“I have a meeting to prepare for.” I pluck my phone off the bench and head toward my office. Halfway there, it dings.
VESPER: I’m coming over tonight. See you then.
The gratitude that floods through me is instant and overwhelming. And despite everything I just told Pavel, it has nothing to do with Luka.
It has everything to do with her.
59
KOVAN
Vesper walks through the door at quarter to eleven that night looking like death warmed over.
Her scrubs are wrinkled and stained. Her hair hangs in limp strands around her face. Dark circles shadow her eyes, and her skin has that gray pallor I’ve seen on corpses.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
