Page 170 of Toxic Temptation
I climb onto the bed and pull her against my chest. She doesn’t fight me this time. She just cries until she’s empty.
When the tears finally stop, she pulls away and grabs a pillow, clutching it between us.
“You did everything you could,” I tell her.
“I know.” She wipes her nose with the back of her hand. “It just never gets easier, though. Losing someone.” Her eyes drop to the pillow in her lap. “Losing my father was the worst thing that ever happened to me.”
“I know.”
“After he died, I became someone I didn’t recognize. Angry. Bitter. Weak. I hated everyone, including him. I stopped answering my phone. When people came to my apartment, I’d turn off the lights and pretend I wasn’t home. I didn’t speak to my mother for months.”
She takes a shaky breath.
“I almost quit medical school. I actually called the dean to withdraw. If he hadn’t been my dad’s friend, if he hadn’t convinced me to take a gap semester instead…” She shakes her head. “I would have thrown my entire life away.”
“You’re stronger now.”
“I thought I was.” She finally meets my eyes. “Until I met you.”
I feel the tug of something unfamiliar in my chest. “I know I scared you last week,” I start. “The shooting?—”
“I’m a doctor, Kovan. I’ve seen gunshot wounds before. I’ve seen people die in ways you can’t imagine. I don’t scare easily.” She folds in on herself. “But I was terrified last week. Because despite everything I’ve done to stop it, I care about you. I care about Luka. And that bullet…”
She can’t finish the sentence.
“But it didn’t hit anything vital.”
“Half an inch to the left and it would have ruptured your lung.”
“It didn’t.”
“You got lucky.” Her hands clench the pillow tighter. “Don’t you understand? Whether you live or die comes down to luck. That’s it.”
“I’m not that easy to kill.”
She gives me a look that’s pure heartbreak. “Everyone’s easy to kill, Kovan. I see it every day. No one is invincible. Bodies are fragile. Death always wins.”
“I’ll prove you wrong.”
She smiles sadly, disbelieving. “I had a plan when I agreed to this deal,” she mumbles. “I was going to keep my distance. Stay professional. But that plan is ruined because I can’t stop caring about you. And I can’t bear the thought of losing you.”
A year ago, those words would have sent me running.
Now, they still do. But runningtowardher. Not away.
“I made it out alive,” I tell her. “I’m fine. I don’t plan on dying anytime soon.”
“You can’t promise that.”
I exhale and fold her hands in mine. “I’ve told you before that my brother believed in fate. He used to read horoscopes and talk about how our futures were written in the stars. I always thought it was bullshit, but…” I pull up my shirt, showing her the Sanskrit tattoo running down my ribs. “You know what this means?”
She shakes her head.
“Ananta. Infinite. I got it with Vitalii after our father died.” I guide her finger to trace the letters. “I may not believe in fate, but I believe in myself. I’m not going to die while Luka needs me. I’m not going to die while you need me, either.”
Her chin trembles. “What if I never stop needing you?”
There it is. The future I’ve spent my entire adult life avoiding.
