Page 184 of Toxic Temptation
“I’m aware.”
“So why did you do it?”
“Because I wanted to. Because you look incredible. Above all, because I’m only human.”
His answer doesn’t satisfy me completely, but I’m committed now. “When you helped with Jeremy, you said you’d give me what I needed.”
“Yes.”
My palms are sweating against his shoulders. “But what about what Iwant? Will you give me that, too?”
He frowns quizzically. “What do you want, Vesper? Tell me and it’s yours.”
This is it. The moment where I either save myself or destroy everything we’ve built.
“I wantyou.”
“You have me.”
“I have your body when it’s convenient. When it serves the arrangement.” My voice drops to barely above a whisper. “But I want more than that, Kovan.”
The music continues around us, but we’ve stopped moving. He’s staring at me with an intensity that makes my hands shake.
“I want us to be real. Not just for show and not just for the custody case.” I take a quivering breath. “I want you to want me the same way I want you. Completely.” I swallow and charge on, because there’s no turning back now. “I know this breaks our deal. I know it’s messy and complicated and probablystupid.” My fingers curl into his tuxedo jacket. “But I can’t keep pretending anymore. I want all of you, Kovan. The whole mess. Not just the parts you’re already willing to share.”
He’s quiet for so long I wonder if I’ve ruined everything.
Then his hand comes up to cradle my face. “Vesper?—”
“You don’t have to answer now,” I blurt. “Just think about it. Please.”
But even as I say it, I know I’ve crossed a line we can never uncross. Whatever happens next, nothing will be the same again.
65
VESPER
He stares at me with dark, searching eyes, his mouth slightly parted. For a moment, I wonder if he heard me correctly or if the music drowned out my confession.
Then I realize what actually happened.
I’ve rendered Kovan Krayev speechless.
The thought makes me feel drunk with power. If I can do this to him, what else am I capable of?
“You don’t know what you’re asking,” he finally says.
“Give me credit for knowing my own mind.” I lift my chin, meeting his stare. “I know what I want. I want you. All of you.”
“Be careful what you wish for, Vesper.” His thumb touches my bottom lip. “Even on my best day, I’m not an easy man. And I don’t live an easy life.”
“We met during a hospital shootout, Kovan. I knew that from day one.”
“And you still want in?”
Around us, couples continue dancing, oblivious to the fact that my entire future is balanced on this moment.
“I’ve been alone most of my adult life,” I tell him quietly. “I thought that’s what I wanted. But after meeting you and Luka, I realized how empty everything was before. I wasn’t single for the right reasons.”
