Page 78 of Toxic Temptation
I catch Kovan’s eye before he can respond.Not now. Not when the kid’s already hurting.
“Okay, sweetheart,” I say. “Just eat your eggs. Maybe tonight we can do something fun. Watch a movie, maybe?”
“On the pull-out sofa?” His excitement is heartbreaking in its simplicity.
“You don’t have a television,” Kovan reminds me.
“I have my dad’s projector. We’ll go old school. How’s that sound, Luka?”
He looks up at me. For a second, I wonder if I’ve crossed the line. I’m not his mother, after all. I’m not his uncle’s girlfriend, either, not really. I’m not anything.
But then he smiles, and I feel like maybe I can be something to him. He deserves as much love as he can get—and if he lets me, I’ll give him everything I have to offer. “Yeah,” he says quietly. “That sounds awesome.”
Over Luka’s head, Kovan makes eye contact with me. “Thank you,” he mouths.
I feel lighter than I’ve felt in months.
The boy’s mother bats away her own tears before squatting down to her son, who’s screaming so loudly that I can’t hear her over his cries. But she keeps talking in that calm, melodious voice until he finally quietens down.
“… doctor will patch you up, sweet boy. Don’t you worry about a thing. She’s got you. I’ve got you. We’ve all got you…”
She squeezes his hand, her smile shaky but determined. That’s what a mother is. The calm in the storm. The rock you lean on. The person who feels unflappable in the face of your own uncertainty.
It’s not that she’s fearless or invincible. But that’s exactly what she feels like.
For the umpteenth time that day, Luka’s face flashes across my head. The way his face crumpled in on itself the moment he thought about his mother.
She’s not the calm in his life.
She’s the storm.
“Earth to Vesper! Paging Dr. Space Cadet! You okay?” Charity appears beside me, decked out in her EMT uniform.
“Sure,” I insist, turning from the emergency department and heading towards triage. “I’m fine.”
But I’m not fine. Not fine at all. I haven’t been fine since I fell asleep longing for a dangerous man to touch me and woke up longing for a scared boy to let me love him.
Charity studies my face with the practiced eye of someone who’s known me too long. “You sure you’re fine?”
“Positive.” I shake out my tired, cramping neck. “When did you get here?”
“Couple minutes ago. We brought in a senior citizen with a broken femur. He’s being taken care of now. Gonna take my lunch break in a bit. Care to join me?”
“I still have a few rounds to do. Next time, maybe?”
Charity squints at me, one eyebrow arching with concern. “Something’s off with you,” she presses. “You might as well just tell me, V.”
Sighing, I open the door to a nearby storage room and gesture her inside. I follow her into the cool, dark space. The rack of oxygen masks is nearly empty, I notice. Of course we’re running low. Will it be resupplied? As long as Jeremy Fleming is in charge, that’s highly unlikely.
“I’ve just been worried about Luka all day. He has a meeting with his mother this evening and—” I stop short when I see that look on Charity’s face, a mixture of pity and sympathy. “What?”
“You’re falling for him.”
My heart stops. “I am not?—”
“Not the man. The boy.”
The distinction doesn’t make it better. “He’s a good kid who deserves better.”
