Page 42 of Crow's Haven
Taking a step closer, I add, “I don’t know your story, so I don’t know what to believe when it comes to your charges. The one thing I do know is that you used me and my boys for cover, to hide from the cops. You got any clue what that feels like?”
“I didn’t mean to use you. I wasn’t thinking straight at the time.”
“You sure enough did though.”
“I swear to you, I didn’t do what they’re accusing me of.”
“Then why run?” I fire back. My voice remains dangerously calm, with suppressed rage running right beneath the surface. “If you’re innocent, why lie to me? Why keep feeding me bullshit every goddamn day you were under my roof?”
“I was scared!” she says, her voice cracking and her shoulders trembling slightly. “I wanted to tell you. I just didn’t know how you would react.”
“So, you figured you’d be the one to decide what truths I can handle?” I interrupt, my voice raw and furious. “You think you can play happy families while being my old lady and keep something this serious hidden from me?”
“No,” she chokes out, taking a ragged breath. “That’s not what I’m saying.”
“You’re accused of killing a damn kid, and you don’t see how wrong it was to take a job looking after mine? You can’t possibly be that fucking clueless.”
“Crow, please, it’s not like that. The little boy who died was sick, it happened while I was taking care of him, but it wasn’t my fault. I was his nurse in the hospital. He was a very sick child, and something went horribly wrong that day. I tried to save him.”
“Yeah? Well, people die in hospitals, but their doctors and nurses don’t wind up with a warrant on their heads,” I snap incredulously. “Do you hear yourself right now? You expect meto believe you’re completely innocent, even though you’re on the run from a murder charge and lying about it? You walked into my house, took care of my kids, and let me put a property cut on your back?”
Her shoulders slump. “I know what I did was wrong. At first, I was desperate for a job, and then it was because I was terrified of losing you and losing the boys. I was trying to find a way to talk to you about it.”
“All I know,” I cut in sharply, feeling more betrayed than ever, “is you took away my choice. If I’d known you were running from a murder rap, I never would have let you get close to my boys until you’d proven your innocence. You brought that risk into my home without even giving me a chance to protect my family. Do you even understand how selfish that was?”
She recoils from my words, eyes swimming with fresh anguish. “I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone. I hoped it wouldn’t matter because I was being accused of a crime I didn’t commit. Someone’s trying to set me up.”
I step in closer, keeping my voice dangerously low. “You thought wrong. It matters. You think it wouldn’t tear those boys apart if the cops showed up to drag you out of here? How do you think they’d feel watching that?”
She covers her face with her hands and quietly sobs.
I say, desperate for her to understand, “We don’t even know your damn real name.” Bringing my hand up to slap roughly against my chest, “You put me in a situation where I don’t know my own old lady’s fucking name. My boys are asking to call you mom, and they don’t know your damn name either.”
She plucks up, looking me in the eyes again. “I’m Sharon, I used my cousin’s identity, but we were both named after our grandmother. I’m Ladybug, your old lady.”
This situation is heart-wrenching. I just shake my head, almost bewildered by how much she’s not getting it. “Yeah, they named you that because Ladybugs stay. Remember that part? How in the hell are you gonna stay when the police take you away?”
“I’m so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen,” she says tearfully.
“But it did,” I bite out, exasperated.
She just stands there like she doesn’t know what to do.
“Look, let’s take a break,” I say jerking my chin towards the bathroom. “Go on. Take a fucking minute. Breathe. Wash your face. And get your shit together,” I tell her coldly, my voice low and brittle. “Then we’ll figure out what happens next.”
Her eyes snap up, shock etched onto every square inch of her face. My tone leaves no room for argument. So she turns and makes a mad dash for the bathroom, clearly understanding how little sympathy I have left. The sound of water running is a distant sound behind the closed bathroom door. I stand, staring numbly at the door. My hands are shaking with restrained anger.
I trusted her. I believed her smiles were genuine. I fucking leaned into her every touch, being the gigantic gullible fool that I am. Now, every tender memory feels twisted, poisoning whatever chance we had at being together. I let myself love again, let myself imagine a future with her, and now every damn bit of it feels like a bunch of rotten lies.
Chapter 12
Sharon
Ibolt to the bathroom to get away from Crow’s angry glare and harsh words. My hands shake as I lean against the cool tile. I can’t believe this is happening. His anger echoes in my head, fierce and judgmental. Crow finally finding out about my past went much worse than I imagined it would. I knew I should have told him sooner. I know it’s because I didn’t come to him myself. I wasn’t truthful about my situation. He’s the type of man that values honesty and loyalty and I gave him dishonesty and betrayal. I can understand why he’s furious with me. Standing here wishing that I’d found the courage to do the right thing somewhere along the way is a desolate, lonely place to be. My heart squeezes, as guilt twists in my gut. He’s right that I let him trust me and fall in love with me without alerting him that I was facing a murder charge. And now I’ve shattered our relationship in a bunch of jagged pieces that can never be fitted back together. Regardless of whether I’m ever cleared of the charges, he’s never going to forgive the fact that I didn’t come to him and explain my situation.
I glance at my reflection in the mirror above the sink. My face is pale, and my eyes rimmed red from tears. What have I done to the man I love? Running into Crow when I was at my lowest point was like finding a safe harbor in a storm. He made me feel safe and I gave him lies in return. I should have known the consequences of my bad decisions would catch up with me eventually.
I don’t want to go to jail for a crime I didn’t commit but there’s no way out. Crow knows the police are looking for me and wants to talk about what comes next when I walk back out of this bathroom. I don’t have to be half smart to know he’s going to turn me over to the police. I have an arrest warrant out for murder and Crow might be a biker but he’s a decent human being. So, he’ll turn me in.
