Page 2 of Blood and Magic
The last coherent thing I saw was my sister’s frightened stare, a replica of my own, and then the world went dark.
Dying was a peculiar thing, truly. There was no bright white light or angels calling me home to heaven. I thought I might see my mother or father, or perhaps our grandparents, but there was none of that, either—just the tragic droll of nothingness. Eternity of darkness. End of story. Good night.
I woke up with a gasp, electric currents shooting through my body as my back arched off the ground.
“Mae?” said a deep, dusky voice. Bright light flashed through each one of my eyes, and I winced against the splitting pain in my skull. “She’s coming back around.”
The EMT barked orders at other people around him, but I focused on the ceiling of my family’s dining room. A crowd of people surrounded me: staff, paramedics, my sister.
“What happened?” I croaked.
No one answered as I was lifted onto a stretcher and shuttled out of the house. It was only on the ambulance ride to the hospital that I learned I had collapsed and banged my head on the nineteenth-century table on my way down. My heart had stopped, and if it hadn’t been for Ava’s quick thinking and immediate CPR, they wouldn’t have been able to resuscitate me.
Stopped?
What do they mean stopped?
I never got an answer. The doctors at the emergency department ran as many tests as they could and arrived at no concrete conclusions. I didn’t have any heart defects, and other than this one incident, there was no indication of illness, genetic or sudden onset. They referred me to a cardiologist, who was as stunned as the other doctors.
Aside from a cracked rib and the scar on my forehead, I’d managed to walk away from death with barely a hair out of place. I had access to the best doctors money could afford. I’d been shuttled to Johns Hopkins and the Cleveland Clinic. I’d flown halfway around the world and back, only for the world’s greatest minds to tell me they had no idea what happened or if it would happen again. In the end, they put me on medication to help maintain the electrical current of my heart and said they’d see me again in six months.
“You’re okay now,” Ava said, gripping my hand on the last flight home. She’d been by my side through it all, through the tests and the endless poking and prodding. She’d been a guinea pig in her own way. As my genetic twin, they could compare our bodies to each other to search for any mutations. But nothing ever came. “You’ll be okay now.”
I nodded and gripped her hand, giving her a tight grin I hoped was reassuring. But as I stared out the window of the private jet at the twinkling lights below, I vibrated with a hollowness I’d never felt before. It was more than medical exhaustion, more than any doctor or specialist could tell me. It grew into a nagging emptiness in my soul—rotten, dark, and all-consuming.
I hungered for something…I didn’t know what. I only knew I had to find it. This yearning clawed at my insides like razors slicing open my veins, making me restless and jittery. My heart ached for the unknown, and until I submitted, I couldn’t guarantee I would be okay ever again.
That emptiness stayed with me through winter and into spring. I went back to work at Vanderbilt Enterprises as director of operations, a job I’d been given by my father shortly after graduating from Harvard.
I hate this, I thought as I sat in a leadership meeting about upcoming strategic priorities.
“If we have any hope of remaining in the top five energy producers in Montana, we’ll need to increase our operational efficiency by at least thirty percent," said one of our vice presidents.
I blinked against the monotonous corporate speak. This meeting had gone on for two hours longer than necessary, and I should care about the direction the company planned to take, but I wondered if anyone even gave a shit I was here.
I didn’t add much value, aside from schmoozing with people who secretly gossiped about me being a nepo baby behind my back while brownnosing to my face. Vanderbilt Enterprises had once been my safety net, the one thing I always knew I would do. Now I dreaded walking into the building.
I rubbed my temples and tried to focus on the metrics on the television in front of me, but what was the point, truly? In the end, none of this mattered.
Death was a tricky thing. It put a lot into perspective. Like how long I’d spent doing things because my father expected me to. Or how much I’d lived in the giant shadow of my sisters. I wasn’t as smart as Ava; she’d graduated from Harvard Law. I wasn’t as ruthless as Guin; she’d become the heir apparent. And I wasn’t nearly as loved by the Vanderbilt patriarch as Sol; she’d been allowed to do whatever she wanted after college.
With this new lease on life, I was determined to find my purpose, to feel alive in all its splendid glory, no matter what that entailed.
NOW
“I can’t believe you’re going to be gone for two whole months,” Ava said, pouting at Sol. “Are you sure you can’t take us with you?”
Our youngest sister laughed and wrapped an arm around Ava’s shoulders. “Trust me. You don’t want to go on this trip.”
“Bali would be wonderful,” Ava said. “I don’t have to spend time with you and your fiancé, Mr. Grumpy Gills.”
“Ugh,” Guin cut in, twisting her hair into a pin curl before securing it with a bobby pin. “They’re ridiculously disgusting together. It’s intolerable being in the same room as them.”
Sol narrowed playful eyes at her and stuck out her tongue, reminding me so much of the younger version of herself. I sat in a corner, sketching them in my notepad while we gossiped and de-stressed from the week's wedding planning events. I could have wasted hundreds on a gift, but Orion spoiled Sol with whatever she wanted, and God knew she already had everything she could need. Instead, I’d decided to give her a series of portraits commemorating her big day and the moments leading up to it. It was more personal, and she’d appreciate the intimacy in it.
Tonight was a sisters’ bonding sleepover. Tomorrow would be the rehearsal, culminating in the big moment the day after.
“I still can’t believe you’re getting married to him,” Ava said, turning to our eldest sister. “You’re okay with this?”
