Page 42 of Blood and Magic
“Okay,” I said, unsure where this was going.
“Two days ago, your blood looked the same as it did after you died.” She’d explained this to me at the time. It contained higher amounts of magic, of that mystical essence that separated us from the rest of the world. She had attributed that to the amount of pack magic it took to bring me back from wherever I was. “But now…”
She went quiet.
“Now?” I asked, urging her on.
“Mill, do you feel any different? Are you still…you?”
“Where is this coming from?” I cleared my throat and shifted uncomfortably, perhaps already suspecting what she was about to tell me. “Am I…am I a fucking vampire?”
“No,” she said quickly. “Heavens, no. They’re diseased. Decayed and rotten. They need blood to regenerate or they’ll shrivel up into dust.”
“Then, what?” What was she trying to tell me?
Morwyn let out a tired sigh. “I don’t know, Mill. It’s like your blood is still attached to you, like it’s changing as you change.”
“I’m not changing,” I said, more forcefully than intended. It came out like a roar, and I nearly scared myself. I cleared my throat and tried again. “How is that even possible? You drew it weeks ago.”
“I don’t know,” she said, and I pictured her pinching the bridge of her nose the way our father used to do when he was tired and frustrated. “Look, I have a few theories, but I need to do some more research. Will you promise to let me know if anything happens? If any new symptoms pop up?”
I should have told her about wanting to drain Maeve dry, about going down on her a few days ago and feeling something for the first time in half a year. Hell, for the first time in over a decade.
I could have fucked Maeve into her mattress until the sun rose and set and rose again and still not have my fill of her. I could have sunk my fangs into her jugular and filled my gut with her blood while my cock filled her cunt with my cum. But those were just urges…sick, twisted, impulsive thoughts that had no basis in reality. I’d been able to pull myself away. I’d been able to stop.
Would I next time?
There wouldn’t be a next time. No, I’d make sure of that. No more riverside blow jobs. No more bloody lip bites.
No more.
“Sure,” I told my sister. “Of course.”
“Good.” She let out a deep exhale. “I’ve got to run. One of the cubs fell over a log and needs stitches.”
“Okay,” I said. “Thanks for checking in.”
“Love you, big brother.”
“Love you.” I hung up and sat on my mattress, the buzzing from Maeve’s room now gone. It chafed to know I could have…should have…been the one to satisfy her, to bring her whatever release she’d found at the end of a vibrator. But I was no good for her. I didn’t know what I wanted, but it bordered too close to hurting her irreparably, and that repulsed both me and the wolf. Fuck, someone like Poe or Columba or any of my other packmates would be a better choice. I’d never be right for her. I’d never be good or whole again.
And yet…despite my reluctance and all the reasons not to, I stood, walked to my laptop, and opened a portal into her computer. She must have fallen asleep watching whatever got her off because the screen was still open and the camera was positioned right at her relaxed form. She looked angelic like that, all soft curves and delicate features. Her dark hair had fallen over her face, and my fingers itched to brush it away.
I closed my eyes and rubbed my palms into my tired lids, telling myself to shut this down and go to bed. It had been a long day, and tomorrow would be even longer. We had a lot to do to prepare the cattle for moving to a different pasture, and that didn’t even consider the sheep, hogs, and horses. Still, I took some strange comfort in seeing her and knowing, truly knowing, she was safe and alive right there on the other side of the wall.
Telling myself it was part of the job, I also checked the security cameras for the day and any alerts on the motion sensors. Marx and his buddies hadn’t shown up again, at least not within the perimeter of our alarms. Maybe we’d have to cast a wider net. Something in my gut told me that motherfucker was lurking out there, waiting for the right moment to strike. He would come during the full moon. He would come when we were at our weakest. He’d attack us like they did twenty years ago, taking as many of us out as they could.
We’d have to be ready. I’d have to talk to Kodiak tomorrow.
After I was sure we were safe, I returned to Maeve’s screen. I must have dozed off watching her because I woke up just before dawn the next morning to the sound of my alarm. It took me a moment to realize where I was and why I was there, and when I glanced back at my computer, Maeve was still asleep in her nest of blankets and pillows. She moaned softly and rolled over, mumbling something soft in her sleep.
“Vermillion, come back,” she said.
My heart sank, and I tried to remember what I’d been dreaming about. Had I been chasing her through the woods again? Had I held her down while I finished the job this time?
“Fuck,” I grumbled, sliding my legs around to the side of the bed.
All of the signs were there, and unlike Orion, I wasn’t in fucking denial about this. I couldn’t be, not when it was plain as day. She’d been having headaches and body chills. She’d been cooking dinner for the first time in her life. She shoved her bloody fingers in my mouth, practically begging me to do my worst. I knew what this was.
