Page 61 of Blood and Magic
“Yes,” I said. “I drank from her. It was…” I shook my head, reliving the experience now that I was sober and (mostly) out of the haze. “Life-altering.”
Kodiak pursed his lips and steepled his fingers in front of his face. “Are you a danger to the pack?”
“No more than I was a month ago,” I said. “You weren’t concerned about me then.”
“I didn’t know you were walking around with bloodlust.”
“I’m not,” I said. “It’s just he—” I cut myself off before I said her.
He paused, letting the tension grow between us, making me more ashamed. Guin was right. Maeve would have been better off with Fenris or Poe or literally anyone else in that fucking rancher’s cabin. I should have stayed as far away from her as possible.
Morwyn shouldn’t have brought me back. She should have let me die.
But then, I remembered what Maeve had said when I took her out on my bike and we looked down on the valley.
“It’s easy to forget why we’re alive, and then you see something like this, and it all makes sense.”
I had forgotten the meaning of life…until Maeve. And now, perhaps my existential crisis seemed dramatic. No one could have helped her like me. The thought of it boiled my blood.
“Guin tells me Maeve almost died about six months ago,” Kodiak continued. “Her heart stopped while she was eating dinner. One second, she was fine. The next, she was on the ground.”
“I know.” Maeve had told me the story herself.
“Don’t you find it strange that you also almost died roughly around the same time?”
“I didn’t almost die, Kodiak. I did die. And magic brought me back to life. Maeve had her heart restarted by a crash cart.” I didn’t see what he was getting at. They were two totally different things.
“Uh-huh,” he said, clearly not buying my bullshit. To be fair, I wasn’t sure if I bought it myself.
I groaned and rubbed my eyes. “What are you trying to say?”
“I think there’s more going on here than you’re willing to admit.”
Understatement.
"Do you think you’ll be able to rein in your…impulses during the shift?” He raised his eyebrows, clearly demanding an affirmative answer.
I nodded.
“Words,” he growled.
“Yes,” I said. “I can.”
“Good. Go see your sister. Let her get another sample to compare the old ones to.”
Gritting my teeth and grumbling expletives, I stood and walked out of the office, making my way through the buildings to the infirmary.
When I arrived, Fenris and Morwyn were huddled together in her office, their heads tilted toward each other, whispering something I couldn’t hear. At my approach, they quieted and looked up at me.
“There he is,” Fenris said, patting my shoulder. “How are you feeling?”
I narrowed my gaze, wondering what he could have to talk to my sister about, but ultimately let it go.
“Fine,” I said, wincing at the pull of the bite marks on my neck. “Kodiak said you wanted to see me?”
Morwyn nodded, her brown curls bouncing on top of her head. “Yes, I need to get new samples of your blood.”
“Is everything at Vanderbilt Ranch squared away for tonight?” I’d been out of commission for the last three days, so I wasn’t sure what had been done versus what hadn’t. Columba and Aquila were supposed to move the cattle to a more secure location, but they should have been back by now for the moon.
