Page 71 of Blood and Magic
Again, I wasn’t thinking clearly, not nearly enough to understand that fairies even existed. Guin clenched her eyes shut, more tears streaming down her cheeks. But I’d hit my breaking point. Between the shame rolling off Mill and the inferno deep in my gut, I couldn’t handle it anymore. My cup had officially runneth over.
“That’s not acceptable,” I said, clenching my hands into fists, digging my nails into my palms to keep myself grounded. “We need to do something. Now. Before they strike again.”
Kodiak focused on me, his eyes nearly obsidian, the pupils blown so wide. “And what would you suggest? That we tear off half-cocked to God knows where? We haven’t found their nest, and until we have intel and backup, we don’t know which direction to go. We’re not strong enough yet.”
It sent me over the edge. Enraged by what I’d witnessed and worried about my family, I launched at him, shoving at his chest and shoulders, punching whatever I could find. He was six-five and all muscle, so it was like hitting a brick wall, but I didn’t care. I screamed and kicked until strong arms wrapped around my middle and yanked me back.
Mill.
“Let me go!” I scratched at his wrists, wiggling to get free.
“I understand you’re upset,” Kodiak said, his features dripping into a cool, calm level-headedness that infuriated me even more. How could he be so apathetic? How could he?—
“Baby, it’s okay,” Mill cooed in my ear, and even though he’d broken my spirit earlier, the sound of it softened me. I relaxed into him, sobbing and wilting under his restraint. “This is a disaster, but we’ll get them. I swear it. I swear.”
“I’m not saying we won’t go after them,” Kodiak said. “Just give me time. Give yourself time. Nothing worthwhile was ever done with an emotional head.”
“See that it happens,” Guin said, standing between me and the alpha. “Or I’ll take things into my own hands, Kodiak. I swear that to you.”
“I have no doubt you will,” he said, turning to leave us there in the clearing. Columba went after him, and I sagged in Mill’s hold, my legs unable to hold me up anymore. Deep, heavy cries poured out of my chest.
Ellen.
The workers.
The animals.
My house. My safe haven.
All of it gone.
Digging my palms into my eyes, I let myself dissolve into the overwhelming grief of the morning. My body was exhausted from my first change, my mind reeling after the morning spent with Vermillion, and now this. It was too much for me to keep inside. Mill held me through it, even after Guin kissed me on the head and walked after the rest of the pack.
“I’ve got you,” Mill cooed. “You’re okay. Let it all out.”
As angry as I was with him, I rested my head on his shoulder and gave over to the rumbling anguish inside. Eventually, he picked me up and carried me back to the SUV, placing me in the backseat so he could hold me while Poe drove us to the homestead.
CHAPTER 22
Vermillion
Furious didn’t begin to describe the emotions raging inside my veins. This was all my fault. I was in charge of Vanderbilt Ranch while Orion was gone, and I’d let it all go to shit. I thought I’d set up the perimeter correctly. I thought our security was tight. I’d been a fucking idiot.
As we all stood in the meeting room, waiting for Kodiak to start church, my nerves frayed with the memory of watching Maeve fall apart in my arms. Kodiak didn’t begrudge her for her outburst. Christ, he was lucky she hadn’t drawn her claws. But if anyone deserved her wrath, it was me. I’d reacted poorly this morning, shoving her away when I should have pulled her closer, and now she’d lost everything.
“We found the horses a few miles in the woods,” Poe said. “I don’t know how they got out, but they’re fine. We brought them to our stables to keep them safe.”
Thank fucking fuck for that. Maeve didn’t need any more heartbreak. When I’d gotten her back to the homestead, I put her in my bed, coaxed her to sleep, and left her to plan our next steps. The room was full of Bastards, the officers at the table around Kodiak, who sat at the head with one hand gripping the chair, the other fisted under his chin.
“They took off to the east,” I said, detailing the footage I’d seen on the security cameras after we returned. They’d figured out how to loop the feeds closest to the house so it didn’t set off any alarms to those watching from the homestead, but I’d caught them on the outer boundary, sneaking off to whatever fucking rock they’d crawled out from under. “I’ve contacted the fairies, but they’re conveniently disinclined to get involved.”
Nora and Aoife shifted in my peripheral vision. Aoife had been a member of the Montana fairy nest until mating Nora earlier this year. She spent most of her time here at the homestead, but that didn’t mean she’d revoked her family.
“I’ll talk to them,” Aoife said, gripping the small axe on her waist.
“Thank you,” Kodiak said with a nod. “What about the other Vanderbilts?”
“Orion and Sol are on their way home,” Moose said, brushing his long dark hair behind his ears. “Liam hasn’t returned our calls. I’ve sent three shifters out to pick up Galahad from boarding school, and Lycan insists he and Ava are fine.”
