Page 21 of Collin: Episodes 1-3
“Allergic? No. I love animals. All of them.”
“Well, this one is the most recalcitrant beast you will ever meet.” Damian reached down and picked up the small black bundle. “Though this morning, you come right after.”
“Me?”
“Yes. Remember the rule. You’re to address everyone here as sir. Except Artemis. I’m fairly certain the only address she will accept is her highness.”
The cat headbutted his chest.
Collin pinched himself under the cover. Still not waking up. And supposedly, he’d just done that. So whatever this was, it was real for the moment. And if they wanted him to address everyone as sir, he could do that. They were both formal and informal in the most confusing way. “Good morning, sir.”
Damian grinned. “Good morning, Collin. I’ll be your caretaker today until about one this afternoon, at which time Mr. Reevesworth will return and work from home.”
Collin flushed. “I really don’t understand, D—sir, why you’re all doing this. It’s like each thing you’re doing I’m going deeper and deeper down a hole, and I can’t, I’m not…there’s nothing…”
Damian released the cat onto the bed. It promptly jumped onto Collin’s lap, cutting off speech.
“What this is, Collin, is a chance. It’s not my place to explain. Like I told you by the river, if you accept Mr. Reevesworth’s offer, it will cost you your pride, your dignity, your secrets, your time, and the luxury of hiding from your fears and your rage.”
“I don’t think my pride and my dignity are worth much right now…sir.”
Damian shook his head. “If you think passing out naked in the office break room is the lowest you can go, you have a lot to learn.”
“He held me down.” It came out in a rush. If it hadn’t been for the cat on his lap, he might not have said it at all.
“Collin, if you stay in The Residency, there will be a lot more than being held down. I told you they will take you apart and put you back together again.”
“I shouldn’t—” Collin stroked the cat. “I’m confused. I shouldn’t…”
Damian approached the bed. He slid his hand up the back of Collin’s neck and grasped a handful of his hair.
Collin stilled. His skin prickled. His breath stopped. Pressure drew his head back, degree by degree, until he was bent backward, staring up at Damian.
“Do you feel better now, Collin, like this, than you did a moment ago, trying to find words?”
Did he? Collin’s thoughts skittered across his consciousness. His body grew heavy. His hands fell loose at his sides. Even his eyes were getting heavy. Just the power of Damian’s grip was making him release and relax.
“I feel better. But I don’t know if I won’t hate myself later. If I won’t—I don’t know if I’ll be able to pick up the pieces. Like if you fly from Australia in December to here, you’d be cold, all the time after being in the warmth. But you’d know if it was summer in Australia, and each time you were cold, you’d remember how warm it was somewhere else, and maybe, maybe you’d hate the cold.”
Damian’s eyes softened. He let go of Collin’s hair and let him rest on the pillows. “You’re cautious, and you plan ahead. Those are good traits. But you spend so much time in the future you don’t really live right now, do you?”
“Why would I want to?”
“Because in the end, right now is all we have?”
Collin looked away. “Damian, sir, I didn’t want the right now. Until maybe yesterday. And some of Saturday.”
“Which parts of Saturday?”
“The research for Ellisandre. I enjoyed that. I forgot about everything else. Even worked late. I mean, I forgot to eat, but it felt good. Like I was in the moment.”
“And yesterday?”
Collin rubbed his face. “Yesterday…yesterday, they made it quiet and warm. It’s been forever since it’s been quiet and warm.”
Damian patted Collin on the shoulder. “I think you have a lot more of those Saturdays in your future. Time to shower. Then eat. I’ll even let you sit in a chair for breakfast.”
Damian poured Collin back into the bed on clean sheets after the meal. How he was so tired, Collin did not understand. He’d been in bed for ages, but freshly showered and with a belly full of waffles, scrambled eggs, and fresh fruit, he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes open. He passed out, starfished under the sheets, one arm wrapped around Artemis.
