Page 49 of Collin: Episodes 1-3
“Ask your question, Collin. No regrets. Hiding concerns is the bedrock of destruction in relationships like this. I need to trust you as much as you need to trust me.”
“What if I fall in love with you, sir? Will you send me away for that?”
“I hope you fall in love with me, Collin.”
Collin pressed a hand over his eyes. “What if I fall in love with you and don’t want to graduate? What if I want to be loved back?”
“Then our relationship will evolve like any other relationship, dom and sub, lovers, mentor and mentee.”
“You’re married, sir.”
“There’s room in my life for more than one great love, Collin. Only time will decide what you and I are. Émeric has been with his partner Ami for nearly as long as he has been with me. And another of his relationships lasted until death parted them.”
“You’ve had boys before Damian.”
“Yes.”
“What happened to them?”
“One developed into a fine man. He outgrew his need for my dominance. He runs one of my companies in this city. We meet for breakfast once a month. He and Damian run together once a week on the Lakefront. Most of my early subs were casual relationships. I’m in contact with a few, but most have moved or left the lifestyle or now have committed relationships. I’m a passing memory for them. And one boy—betrayed us.”
“Betrayed you?”
“He chose to be seduced by significant sums of money and positions of potential power working for those who wish to stop the vision that Linda, Émeric and those we’ve brought up with us hold for the future.”
“Couldn’t he ruin you?”
“Like you, he has signed an NDA, and as far as I am aware, he’s kept to the letter of it, if not the spirit of it. Nothing I do is illegal, so even if it became publicized that I engage in polyamorous power exchange relationships, that will only be one more hurdle in expanding the tolerance of general society. What I have on his employers to date is much more grievous. And they are aware.”
“He hurt you.”
Mr. Reevesworth nodded. “He hurt all of us, Damian perhaps most of all.”
“I’m sorry.”
Mr. Reevesworth grimaced. “It is a risk. All relationships are risks. It doesn’t mean the risks aren’t worth taking.” He stood. “Twenty minutes, minimum, Collin. My door is open.”
The air of the room stilled in the wake of Mr. Reevesworth’s departure. Collin fingered the pages of the contract. The decision was already made, but the time minimum remained. Almost as if he were using someone else’s hands, he gathered the pages and stood, going to the window.
He needed space. So many days he’d already spent in this living room and the bedroom. He set the documents down and checked his pocket for his phone. In the bedroom, he found socks by rummaging through the drawers of the dresser. There were more clothes there than he had realized, and none of them were from before. He pulled on a blue coat, something else that was new, something he guessed was wool and buttoned across his chest. He’d never worn anything like it before the day he’d gone to the old apartment for his things.
At the front door, he slid into the new loafers and let himself into the elevator.
The air outside was brisk. People moved back and forth on the sidewalk, focused on their business. Skyscrapers and multistory buildings from the last hundred and fifty years lined the street in solid walls of architecture. Trees dropped leaves on the sidewalk, turning the world into a canvas of gold and red bits between the stone and brick.
Collin slid into the pedestrian flow, moving south. Two streets down and he’d be able to find his way to the large park facing the lake.
What would it feel like to walk like this, knowing I was owned?
Warmth and fear in equal measure tingled up his back and flowed over his arms. The contract had been a revelation, so much more than he’d imagined. Should he be afraid?
I’m afraid of everything. At least this was a thing he feared that he also wanted.
You’ve never been involved with more than one man at a time before. You’ve barely been involved with a romantic partner.
But Mr. Reevesworth wasn’t a romantic partner. Not in the same way that his classmates at university were also falling in and out of each other’s beds and lives. Not in the way his mother and father had been together when he was a child. If he had a boyfriend and he was working late on a project, he could brush off a date. It might end up with a grumpy partner and hurt feelings, but most people understood that in your twenties you had to look after number one. No one else would be doing that for you. Lovers didn’t keep you fed and boyfriends didn’t keep you housed, at least not always. Sometimes those situations happened.
Serving Mr. Reevesworth would be so much more than that. If he called, Collin would come; whatever else Collin had been doing would be secondary. And there would still be a paycheck he could send home and a place to sleep and food.
