Page 31 of Asphyxia
Here I was, crawling into the wrong fucking bed, sucking the wrong cock, and I was envious of a woman I had never even met or knew existed—and why would I? Dean didn’t even know that I was sleeping around with his best friend until I got caught.
“Look at me… unpacking all the baggage I created… Fuck.” I muttered into my glass as I took another sip, wishing it was something significantly stronger. “Why am I doing this all over again—with not only one buttwomen this time? Goddamnit, Madison. You really are a hopeless romantic, aren’t you…”
As I finished the last of my water, I peered down to see my phone screen light up withMarcusin the notification window.
My heart immediately started racing. The wings of the butterflies in my stomach beating hard at the sight of his name alone. I felt like I was going to throw up at the overwhelming sensation.
But instead of picking up my phone, reading his text, and responding—I hurled it at the wall across the room, followed by my empty glass, and watched as both shattered on the hardwood floor.
Iheardthelatchof the front door open and close. Light feet and squeaking sneakers across the floor told me it was most likely Marcus, seeing as Dean had never been to my home beforeand wouldn’t even know where the spare key was hidden—unless Marcus had already told him.
“What the fuck…” I heard Marcus hiss as he, most likely, discovered the broken phone and glass in the kitchen. “Mads.” He called out.
I loved it when he called me by my nickname or even kitten now…
After shattering my phone and the glass, I crawled into the middle of my bed and curled up, staring at nothing but the wall as the day passed.
I was angry, scared, and honestly, fucking embarrassed for myself.
A strong, independent, vicious woman, being brought to her knees once again by the one weakness I’ve always held.Love.
That wasn’t to say that I loved Dean or Marcus, but clearly, something was there—a spark just waiting to catch fire and set all three of our hearts ablaze.
I felt the mattress sink as a strong, warm body wrapped around mine, his arms securing my body tightly against his chest—Marcus.
Marcus didn’t say a word; he just held me as if I were as fragile as the glass I had shattered. A small part of me wanted to snap at him, pull away, and run, while the other never wanted to leave his calming embrace.
He tamed me, unlike anyone else before him, and I was unequivocally fucking terrified of letting Marcus in—the fear of being hurt all over again by another man after my heart and soul.
“How long have you been laying here like this?” Marcus whispered, his warm breath dancing across my skin as he buried his face in the crook of my neck from behind.
I didn’t answer—mainly because I didn’t even know how long I had been here. I couldn’t remember what time it was when I freaked out in the kitchen or what it was now. I only knew that I was no longer alone, and the man holding me close wouldn’t dare cause me harm.
“Mads—”
“I know I’m not perfect. That I don’t deserve you—or Dean.” My voice cracked as I continued to focus on the wall, my insides twisting as my lungs grew heavy and made me feel as if I couldn’t breathe. “And I know that whatever this is between us won’t last.”
It was a hard truth that I had to swallow—to protect myself.
“Why would you say that? Come on, Mads…” Marcus sighed, readjusting his hold around me so he could grip my chin and lift my face to meet his.
Bright blue eyes sucked me in like a vortex, lifting me from the hole I had started digging myself deeper and deeper into.
Marcus was a dream, and I didn’t want to wake up—the reality of what we couldn’t be tearing me apart from the inside.
“What could you possibly see in me that would make you want me for more than just sex?” I could feel tears filling my eyes as my vision started to blur, but I refused to let them fall.I will not cry… I am stronger than this.
“Are you kidding me?” Marcus huffed a sarcastic laugh as he beamed down at me, brushing off my words and anger as if theywere nothing. “Look at you. It doesn’t take a fucking genius to see just how perfect you are.” I swallowed the lump in my throat, sucking in a sharp breath as he gently stroked my cheek with his thumb. “Why are you doing this to yourself, kitten? Acting as though you are so undeserving of something any man would so willingly give you…”
“You don’t understand—”
“I understand that you are moving past a fucked up relationship and tortured past. I understand that you don’t want to give yourself to someone for fear of being hurt all over again—”
“And I—”
“And you are worth waiting for—you always have been, Mads.” Marcus’s eyes softened as he leaned down and pressed his forehead against mine, his soft, warm hand still caressing my cheek. “But even while waiting, I won’t let you suffer in silence. I can love enough for the both of us—until you’re ready to love me back.”
Did he just say he loved me?
