Page 71 of Asphyxia
“Little late to take the moral high ground if that’s what you’re asking… You said it yourself that you wanted to kill the fucker who tormented Mads for all those years. Well, look no further, he’s right fucking there, silver platter and all.” I gestured to the unconscious son-of-a-bitch, just waiting for him to open his eyes so that I could give him several choice words before Madison handed him his well-deserved fate.
“No, I get that but… fuck.” Marcus was being indecisive—second-guessing himself.
“Look…” I sighed, stepping towards him and gripping onto both of his shoulders. “What did we say? All those weeks ago, what did we say we were going to do?”
Marcus may have always been the party animal with no limits regarding fucking around and having a good time, but his moral compass, outside of Madison, was something to be admired.
He would bend the rules where necessary, but ultimately, Marcus was always a golden retriever at heart, and that was one of the reasons why he became my best friend in the first place.
I needed someone to keep me on the right path, and he always did just that. But if Marcus was going to love a woman like Madison, he would need to do far more than just bend.
“Live.”
Marcus squared himself, believing in the word and its meaning for us.
“That’s fucking right. We’re going to live, and this…” I pointed to the cot without taking my eyes off his. “This is nothing. He is nothing. Just some worthless piece of shit.”
“How has all of this been so easy for you?” Marcus questioned, and I could see in his eyes the curiosity of how I could be so nonchalant—unfazed by something so damning.
“When your heart has been shattered by the one person you trusted most to care for it, some of those pieces never find their way back together.”
After seeing Madison and her trauma…
Mine paled in comparison, but through her eyes, I could see just how damaged I had become as she started putting the pieces of my heart back together.
Marcus opened his mouth and closed it immediately, most likely in an attempt to hold back a smart-ass comment he was known for making in any situation that made him uneasy—intimacy often made him uncomfortable.
He was the king of deflection when it came to complex topics of conversation.
“Dean…” He sighed, his eyes lifting to the ceiling of the cell before falling back down to meet mine. “I’m sorry… For never stepping between Amber and you when I should have.”This is new…“I should have pushed harder to show you the truth, even if it would have created an argument between us.”
Marcus wethis lips, taking a deep breath before releasing a long exhale.
“I just didn’t want to lose you to her as my best friend… but I guess I almost lost you as a person by doing nothing at all.”
All this time, I thought Marcus had just hated Amber because she was always such a bitch to him, but now that I was finally seeing everything that my love for her had blinded me to—realizing the toxic behavior that she was projecting…
“I would have never chosen her over you.”
“You don’t know th—”
“I know,” I interjected. “I know I never gave you that impression, but I will always choose you over any woman in my life, even Madison. You’re like a brother to me, Marcus. We take care of each other.”
This heart-to-heart was long overdue.
I had never told Marcus how much he meant to me as a friend—a brother.
It made me wonder where we would be right now if I had spoken up sooner—if our relationship with Madison would have even existed without my fallout with Amber.
Regardless of the past, I was happy where we ended up.
The road we paved to get us to this point was shitty as fuck, but the outcome was worth all the pain, anger, and unspoken words.
“Call me out on my shit, Dean.” Marcus smiled warmly, holding his hand up between us for me to grip, and I pulled him in for a close brotherly hug with it.
“As long as you promise to always do the same.”
“Deal.”
