Page 45 of One Cry Too Loud
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I said, reaching for her hand.
“No.” She shook her head and pulled away. “I didn’t come for comfort. Heavens knows I’ve taken enough of that from you recently. I came to apologize.”
“What do you have to apologize for?” I asked, narrowing my eyes.
She looked at me, sighing just a bit. “You know what.”
“You mean the kiss?” I asked.
“Keep your voice down please!” She said in a near frantic whisper. “I certainly don’t need everyone onboard knowing about my foolish indiscretion.” She ran a hand through her hair. “I just came to say I’m sorry and it won’t happen again.”
“Okay,” I said, nodding. “I get it. I understand. Do you mind if I ask a question, though?”
“I suppose it’ll mortify me, but go on. It’s the least I can do,” she said.
“I hope it doesn’t mortify you. I’m just curious as to why it happened in the first place,” I said. “I get that you had a lot going on emotionally. I get that you were confused and stretched to your limits. I’m just curious as to why it was me. Is it because Iwas there? Is it because I said those things to you? Is it because of the way Charlie reacted?”
“This doesn’t have anything to do with Charlie,” Holly said. “It doesn’t have anything to do with anything you just said. Yes, you said wonderful things. Yes, you were there for me, but you’re always there for me. This isn’t something that you just started. It’s something that you’ve always done. It’s something you’ve always been. I don’t think I fully realized it before you went missing and we got you back, but in a way, I feel like I’ve always felt this way.”
“Felt what way, Holly?” I asked. “What are you trying to say?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” The woman stepped back a little, as though my question was a dagger and she was trying desperately to dodge it. “Don’t you know? Haven’t you always known?”
I looked at her with widening eyes for a moment.
“I have feelings for you, Jack. I know you don’t feel the same way. I see the way you look at Kat. I see the way she looks at you,” Holly replied. “I’ve heard the way you talk about your wife. You talk about Kat the same way. But-but not me.”
“I’m sorry, Holly. I’m just surprised, I think,” I said.
“No. Please don’t apologize. You don’t have anything to apologize for,” she replied. “I’m not going to do anything about my feelings. I want you to know that. I don’t want things to be strained or strange with any of us. I’m a grown woman, and trust me, Jack, I know my place in the world.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked, looking at Holly more closely.
“Just that I know there’s a difference between women like Kat and women like me,” she said. “That’s all.”
“Holly, don’t do that,” I replied. “You’re a very beautiful woman. More than that, you’re an insanely impressive woman. You don’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. You’re more than enough to stand on your own.”
“I know,” she said in a near whisper. “On my own. It’s always on my own.”
“Holly, I’m-”
I’m never going to kiss you again. I promise,” she said, shaking her head and interrupting me. “And please, if Kat saw me, and I think she probably did, would you let her know that? Let her know I’m sorry too. I’d tell her myself, but I’d probably die of embarrassment."
“Holly, I-”
“Oh God,” Tag said from the other side of the jet, cutting me off. “Holly, you need to see this right now.”
Looking forward, I saw the young man was in front of a computer screen. The look on his face was one I was very familiar with these days, which was to say that it was not a good one.
Holly moved toward the man, and as she took in the sight that was on the screen, a string of numbers and letters, she gasped.
“What is it?” I asked, following her.
“We tracked the base of Nefarious’s operations,” Holly said, turning back to me with tears in her eyes. “I don’t know how, but it’s my parents’ house.”
CHAPTER 30
We left Tag on the jet as we went into Dorset. It wasn’t something the boy appreciated. He wanted to see the world, as he said. He had never been out of the States. Or, at least, that’s what he told me. He wanted to feel the English air, to smell the English scents, to do all of those things you want to do when you’re young and think the world is just for you.
