Page 46 of One Cry Too Loud
It wasn’t just for him, though, and given the fact that he was so damn useful when we were stuck in the vault, we wanted to allow him to play the same part here. That way, if Nefarious had anything up his sleeve, we’d have something up ours as well.
For what it was worth, though, Tag was right to want to feel this air, to see these sights, and to smell these scents. They were all quite wonderful. Though it was much cooler than where we’d just left, I couldn’t help but lose myself to the gray English charm of this place. The green of the grass, deep and rich, wasn’t quite as vibrant as the colors that met the eye in Florida, but they held a weight that I had never quite seen before. Maybe it was history. Maybe it was the exotic nature of something foreign to me. Maybe I was just being a romantic idiot who remembered thetime he was somewhere very similar to this place with someone he loved most in the world. Either way, Dorset was a hit for me.
“I can’t believe I actually had to come back here.”
Apparently, not everyone felt that way, though.
Holly’s words hung heavy in the European air. Thick with regret, they matched the slumped over nature of her body. With her hands in the pockets of her coat, she shuffled more than walked, seemingly hesitant to get where she was going.
I couldn’t blame her. She had often told me of the relationship she had with her parents, or that she didn’t have, it would seem. She had spoken to them since they disowned her after the trial, and to hear her tell it, they really had no love for her after the death of her sister.
“It’s going to be okay, Holly,” Kat said, keeping step with the woman. Kat’s voice was colored with concern, which didn’t surprise me. Kat had always seen the CCU as a family, and she treated us accordingly. “I know you have no interest in seeing your parents, but-”
“I actually think I’m more afraid of seeing them than I am of even seeing Joe again,” she admitted. “It’s weird. These people, all of them, hurt me in ways that I can’t really explain.”
“I’m sorry,” I answered. “You were young. You didn’t deserve that.”
“Deserve it or not, I don’t regret that it happened,” she said. “In a sense, the way I was mistreated by all of these people, by my parents and by Joe, forced me to become the person I am today. It was hard and terrible and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody, but it’s also true. Being abandoned by the people who raised me and the man who promised to spend the rest of his life with me forced me to become my own person. It forced me to look at myself and figure out who I wanted to be.” She smiled just a bit. “I like that person who I turned out to be. I like the woman I’ve become. Maybe I wouldn’t have become her if notfor them, if not for the way they treated me. So, in a weird way, I’m grateful.”
“Be grateful to yourself,” Kat replied, her voice a bit stronger. “You’re the one who did the work. You’re the one who forged the person you became. Just because you’re happy about what you were capable of building after the fallout doesn’t mean you have to be grateful for the tragedy. And it certainly doesn’t mean you need to forgive the people who were responsible for it.”
“I suppose you have a point,” Holly said. “I think that just being back here is messing with my head. It’s making me feel different, afraid.”
“Afraid?” I asked. “What are you afraid of, Holly?”
“I barely got out of here the first time. In truth, the only reason I ever made it out of Dorset was because I was arrested. Otherwise, I’d probably still be here, wasting away with people who don’t care about me.” She shrugged. “I guess I’m just afraid that, somehow, I won’t be so lucky again. I’m afraid Dorset will take me back and I won’t get away this time.”
“That’s not going to happen, Holly,” Kat promised. “You’re leaving here with us, and as for your fear, there’s nothing wrong with feeling it. There’s no shame in being afraid, but you can’t let it overtake you. You have to be strong. You have to move past it and do it for your daughter.”
“I will, Kat,” she replied, giving the woman a side hug. “You really are the best.”
“You must be rubbing off on me,” Kat replied.
“Holly?” A voice asked from a bit up the sidewalk. “Are the saints really that good?”
Looking ahead up the sidewalk where a series of small shops and restaurants lay, I saw a man coming toward us. He was older than the lot of us, with a tuft of silver hair on his head and a walking stick in his right hand. The fact that the end of the stick wasn’t touching the sidewalk and that the man was walking asfast and steady as anyone else led me to believe the stick was more for aesthetics than mobility.
“Duncan?” Holly asked. “Duncan McRae? Oh my Lord.”
Holly sprinted forward and the man scooped her up into a hug. As they pulled away, Duncan asked, “What on earth are you doing here? It’s been years.”
“It has,” she replied. “And I’m here on business.”
“Business?” He asked. “What kind of business are you in, my love?”
“The kind she can’t talk about,” Kat said as she and I settled beside her. “Holly, how do you know this man exactly?”
“This is Duncan McRae,” she repeated. “Dr. MCR.”
“Is that supposed to mean something to us?” Kat asked.
“It’s his username,” she said. “Sorry. It was his handle online. I was on the same forum board for years.”
“A forum board?” I asked. “The same forum board where you met Joe?”
“Oh, do we say that name now?” Duncan asked, looking from one of us to the other. “I remember when that was a curse word.”
“Oh, it still is,” Holly replied.
