Page 13 of Chasing After You
I’m closest to my brother out of all my siblings. My best friend for most of my life was the same boy I fell in love with as a teenager. I have a son. And yet, I still find I’m easily confused when it comes to the ways of male thinking. “You’re wrong.”
“You’re in denial.”
I sigh. I wish I was. Then I wouldn’t have to live with the truth I’ve had to face every day of the last two years. “If Matti had it in him to chase after me, he would have done it the moment I pulled away. But he didn’t. He let me go. Gave me the freedom I asked of him.” Whether he did it to honor my request or for a lack of fight in him to see me stay, I’ll never know. I made my choices. The results are mine to live with. “He’s not here for me, Vale. It’s just a crazy coincidence.”
Vale just stares at me, his face expressionless but for the twinkle of smile surfacing in his eyes. “You don’t believe in coincidence.”
I turn my head and close my eyes. Some days it doesn’t pay to be so close to your siblings. “That was before I wound up stuck with a blind date doomed to last an entire week and my ex-husband on the same island, unable to escape either.” I push up from the mattress and stand. “I don’t know what I believe now.”
I start for the door.
Vale makes no effort to follow me. “Where are you going?”
“A walk.” I grasp the doorknob and twist. “I need to clear my head of everyone else’s chatter.”
CHAPTER THREE
MATTI
I barely set foot inside the luxury cabin I booked and realize it’s not just grand enough to accommodate the band, it could easily house our entire road crew. I have half a mind to put out a few calls and invite the whole lot of them, but I stop myself when I consider how the absence of privacy we’re all far too accustomed to might apply itself to my current situation.
Maybe I don’t need everyone I work with to have a front-row seat to the most intimate challenge of my life.
With hardly any luggage to speak of, and hardly any of my packed belongings nearly as appropriate for this trip as I’d anticipated, getting settled only takes a few minutes. I pick the first door off the hall and toss my bag inside. Bunk beds. Yep, that seems right.
No need to dwell on furnishings I’m already more than accustomed to thanks to life on a tour bus.
I make my way along the next few doors, checking out what’s behind them until I find the nearest bathroom, then I move on to examine the kitchen. Renee said the pantry would be stocked with essentials, and I could have more groceries delivered on request. I’ll wait on that until everyone else gets here. They’ve got a full-service restaurant at the main lodge and offer room service, so there’s no way I’m going to go hungry until then.
For the most part, everything looks pretty well set up. Great assortment of pots and pans and a really impressive spice rack. Add in some proper groceries and I could spend some time in this kitchen and be perfectly content.
Things take a turn when I open the first set of cupboard doors just left of the fridge. “What the hell are these supposed to be?” I mutter, taking out one of the itty-bitty mugs stackedon the shelf. “That’s like two sips up from an espresso.” I laugh, putting it back. “That’s definitely not going to work.”
I close the cupboard and pretend I didn’t see anything in there. Might as well consider that one empty. Not going to be using what’s inside anyway.
I waste a few minutes more in the kitchen before I branch out and explore the rest of the place.
Wandering around the empty cabin passes some time but does little to ease the restless feeling turning my stomach and making my muscles twitch with anxious energy. Something aimlessly strolling from room to room is unlikely to release.
Nessa is here with someone.
Oliver.
Is it fair to hate a name just for the sake of hating it? Probably not. But goddamn, I officially hate that name.
Useless though they are for horse-related business, I make my way back around to the room up front and retrieve the one pair of sneakers I brought. It takes digging down to the bottom of my bag to find them but once I do, I also change out my jeans for board shorts and peel out of my shirt which is already soaked from nervous sweat.
I’m a real fucking catch right now. Bullshit spewing, an irrational hate of names, and nervous sweat. What woman wouldn’t want to come running back to this?
I let out a long breath and shake it off.
The trails around here may be intended for horses, but I imagine they’ll do just fine for a run. And I need to run. Fast. Hard. And for as long as it takes to leave behind the image of Oliver – stupid fucking name,Oliver- standing beside Nessa.
Once I’m outside, I choose the first dirt path I see leading away from my cabin and dart off into the woods. As soon as the resort is out of view, my mind begins to wander, unwinding a little more with every turn along the trail.
Entire conversations between myself and Ness begin to replay themselves word for word, starting with the most recent one. I slow everything down, letting the words sift through my mind like sand through a sieve trying to find any trinkets I missed in the moment. Changes in her tone. A shift in her expression. Anything that will help me make sense of where we are now and how we ended up here.
I need to know. Need to understand. It’s the only way I’m ever going to know how to move forward. With her. And I want to move forward with her.
