Page 20 of Chasing After You
“Maybe.”
With no pillows left to throw across the room, I just stand here, arms crossed, feeling annoyingly exposed. I just told this man things I haven’t said to anyone. Things I haven’t even allowed myself to fully think.
“Nessa?”
I look up at the sound of my name. “Yeah?”
“Who are you more afraid of seeing hurt again? Yourself? Or Matti?”
The question is so absurd, I almost scoff. “Matti.”
He grins. “Exactly.”
I can feel my brow furrow. “I’m not following.”
“You just ranted on and on about how selfish you think you are. But you’re not even on your own radar.” He chuckles. “Trust me, you don’t need to keep yourself from Matti to spare his heart. But you may want to open yourself up to whatever feelings are still there if you ever want yours whole again.”
A lump forms in my throat just hearing his words. I hate that, those moments when your body responds with emotion before your mind can catch up. Like your body wants to make sure you hear the message before your head has a chance to twist and turn it. “Even if I agreed with you, it wouldn’t matter. He’s here with someone else.”
Oliver tilts his head slightly. “So are you.” He lets out another quiet, little laugh. “And it means nothing.”
“I’m not quite willing to believe Matti’s situation with Kenley is as made up as ours is,” I say, managing a small smile again. “But since you brought it up.”
His brows inch up a bit. “Yeah?”
“My sisters.” I sigh, coming back around to where this conversation started. “The last thing I want to do is ask you to lie to them like I lied to Matti, but if we maybe just implieda little, or even just refrained from saying anything to outright deny a romantic connection between us... Well, I just think it would probably make the rest of this trip a million times more enjoyable for the both of us if they thought their plan had actually worked.”
He dips his head back and forth like he’s thinking it over. “I’ll make you a deal.”
“I like deals.” Everyone gets what they want. Terms are mutually agreed upon ahead of time. Deals are great. Provided you’re making deals with a decent person. I’m pretty confident I am.
“I say we just go with the flow. Don’t confirm or deny a thing. If people want to misinterpret our friendship, that’s on them.”
“I’m good with the terms so far.” I nod, gesturing for him to keep going.
“But,” he lifts a finger, “going with the flow also means we can change course at any time. If the current pulls you toward Matti, you let it. If the tide washes in someone who sparks my interest, I act on it. We either go all in with the flow or pick the path of more resistance.”
“Total honesty?”
“Total honesty.”
“Go with the flow it is.” I grin as we shake on it. This vacation may turn out just fine after all. My sisters can leave me in peace thinking their efforts to save me from my loneliness succeeded in landing me a man, Matti can go on with his life thinking I’m moving forward as well, and me, I get to play with horses and hang out with a cool new dude, who may not be the man of my dreams, but definitely has long-term friendship potential.
“In the interest of getting the flow started, what’s your usual bedtime routine?” he asks, backing up to where he left his suitcase propped up on the stand. “Because I’m thinking I’ve gotmaybe ten minutes left in me before I want to flip on ESPN, turn the volume down to a whisper, roll over and pass out.”
“Go right ahead and do your thing.” I swoosh my arm through the air as if clearing an imaginary path to the bathroom for him. “My sisters and I usually meet up in the kitchen before bed for a chat. Someone’s always hungry after dinner.” Roni. “And one of us really enjoys a glass of wine before bed.” Tori. “Naturally, there’s another who still needs dessert.” Anna. “And we have one psycho in the bunch who craves a cup of coffee right before going to sleep.” It’s me. I’m the psycho. “So, it’s going to be a while yet before I hit that ten-minute mark.”
“Works for me.” He smiles, waving me off. “Enjoy your sister time.”
“Thank you.” I reach the door and pause. “I’ll be quiet when I get back. Sometimes we lose track of how late it gets.”
“No worries. I’m a sound sleeper. Unless you page me.” He grins.
I grin back.
Maybe he’s getting funnier.
CHAPTER FIVE
