Page 33 of Damnation
“You are Thomas Putnam. I have never heard you ask permission for anything in your life.”
She is not wrong.
“‘Tis the least I can do, to grant you this privacy if you so desire.”
“Well, I do. I so desire as much privacy away from you as possible. I beg of you, allow any other to escort me from here on out. The sight of you sours my stomach,” she sneers.
Her words punch holes into my chest, though I stay silent, allowing it to do so. ‘Tis less than I deserve for how I have betrayed her. But she often forgets how she betrayed me. I loved her so, and she deceived me. She claims to be a woman of light, but I see no way. Not for what she has admitted to me in private. She is…a woman I could never be with…never have. And I hate her for it.
The tension inside me rises with each step of my horse’s hooves, and when we arrive in town, I feel as if I will be sick. One by one, we dismount from the horses, escorting our charges inside the courthouse. ‘Tis a full crowd this day, my entire family there to bear witness. My wife wears a smug grin, casting cruel eyes to Sarah in a way that fills me with rage.
Hutchinson speaks first, calling all attention forward.
“We have come together for the final sentencing of Rebecca Nurse, Susannah Martin, Sarah Wildes, Elizabeth Howe, and Sarah Good. The findings are as follows. In the case of Rebecca Nurse, guilty. Susannah Martin, guilty. Sarah Wildes, guilty. Elizabeth Howe, guilty.”
I know the next words that are about to leave his mouth, yet I am unable to face them. I close my eyes and tense, as if a physical blow is coming.
“Sarah Good, guilty.”
Just like that. ‘Tis as if a gun shot has exploded inside of my chest. In one way and out the other, I am hollow. The other women cry out and sob, but not Sarah. She remains composed, frozen like a statue.
“All five have been found of witchcraft and are due to hang at Gallows Hill immediately.”
“No!” I shout before I can help it.
The entire courtroom stills as all eyes land upon me. I meet Parris and Noyes, their eyes narrowed in curiosity as I continue.
“Chief Justice, Mrs. Good is with child. Surely the child ought not suffer the sins of the mother?”
Even as I speak the words, they taste of ash on my tongue.
He nods his head from side to side as if he were weighing his options before nodding.
“Agreed, we shall not forsake the unborn for the living’s sins. Hang date shall be set once the child has been birthed. Ensure Ipswich is aware of the communication necessary.”
I nod my agreement and settle an idea in my mind then and there.
I may not be able to have Sarah the way my soul craves, but I can have our baby. I can love them and cherish them and raise them in her absence. Then one day, when they are old enough, I will teach them about their mother, only the best parts.
I cannot save her, but I will save my child.
Chapter Fifteen
Sarah
I’m lying on the cold, hard floor, the midnight sky granting little light into the cell as I stroke Dorothy’s hair while she sleeps. Death is coming, quicker than I’d ever imagined. I can feel it in my bones, in the air, and I know there is no escaping it.
I fear what will happen to Dorothy when I go. Will she suffer the same fate? Will she be released and turned over to William to serve a lifetime beneath his fist? What other option will be left?
I fear for my unborn child, who is due any day now. What little time I have with them will be spent in a prison cell, and when I am gone, they will not know a thing about me. I expect Thomas will not acknowledge either of my children, which means they will have nothing. No one. The guilt of knowing such things gnaws inside my belly like a starved animal.
A pain rips through me, dull at first before becoming sharper. I wince as it occurs again and again. Oh God. It’s happening.
I squirm in place as I move so as not to wake Dorothy. My stirring alerts Elizabeth Booth, though, as I attempt to hold in my cries before letting them out with a sputter.
“Sarah? What is the matter?” she asks.
I hold my belly tightly as I look to her, another contraction ripping through me.
