Page 57 of Darcy's Guarded Heart
“But is it part of the truth?”
Darcy nodded slowly. “Yes… it is. When I saw how easily you took to Thomas Bennet—how well-liked he became—it reminded me of… then. When we were boys. My father used to praise Wickham, more than he praised me. And again at Cambridge. Everyone was drawn to him. I’ve always been the serious one, the dull one. And I was afraid I’d be… cast aside. Again. I thought if you and Jane become closer, he too would remain in your realm and I would no longer matter. I do not have many friends, as you know, and I should not have liked to lose one of my closest.”
Bingley looked at him for a long moment. “Do you really think so little of me?”
Darcy’s throat tightened. “No. But I often think very little of myself.”
“You believe I’d drop my best friend the moment someone more charming came along?”
Darcy shook his head, his voice low. “I didn’t mean to think it. I only… felt it.”
“Well,” Bingley said, sitting forward, “you may be serious, and you may not smile often, but that’s why I trust you. I never have to wonder where I stand with you. I can talk to you properly. That matters more than all the charm in the world.”
Darcy looked down, shame twisting in his chest. “I have betrayed your trust. I wronged Miss Bennet and I wronged you. There’s no excuse for it.”
Bingley sighed, but his voice was gentler. “It was out of character. But I see now why you did it. You weren’t just trying to protect me, were you? You were afraid.”
Darcy nodded. “Of losing my sister.”
He hesitated, then went on. “She became very close to Thomas. I saw it happening, and I feared… feared the same thing that happened before. That someone I loved would be drawn away, without me even realising it. I thought if I acted quickly, I could stop it before it went too far.”
Bingley shook his head. “But Thomas isn’t Wickham.”
“I know that now. He’s nothing like him. He’s not titled, no fortune of his own, his parentage uncertain—yes. But he is decent. He is steady. And he truly cares for Georgiana. I can see that now.”
“Then what is the trouble?”
Darcy gave a weak smile. “If she were to be with him, her future would be tarnished. The family would not take it well.”
“Come now,” Bingley said. “Colonel Fitzwilliam adores her. You do as well, of course. That’s most of the family she cares about.”
“I would not turn my back on her.”
“Exactly,” Bingley said. “And nor would I. And if things were to progress, she’d have the Bennets as her family too. There is nothing wrong with that.”
There was a silence between them again. But this time, it was not cold. It was thoughtful.
“We could all have been family,” Bingley said, softer now. “If not for what you and my sisters did.”
Darcy lowered his eyes. “I know. And I regret it more than I can say.”
He looked up, voice steady now. “I mean to go to Miss Bennet. I will tell her everything. I will confess what I did.”
Bingley sat up straighter, his eyes brightening. “She’s in London?
“Yes, Mrs Annesley saw her and her aunt in Covent Garden market on Monday. She is staying at Gracechurch Street. I plan to see her after this, if you would care to come.”
“Care to?” Bingley exclaimed. “I insist on it. I must beg her forgiveness myself.”
Darcy allowed himself the faintest of smiles. But then Bingley added, with a smirk, “And perhaps, if you’re very noble in your confession, it might win you a little favour from Miss Elizabeth?”
Darcy straightened slightly, though his expression remained unreadable. “That is not the reason I—”
“Don’t lie to me, Darcy.”
Darcy met his gaze, then slowly nodded. “Very well. I care for her more than I can explain.”
“Then there is hope yet,” Bingley said, standing. “Here is our plan. I will beg Jane’s forgiveness this very hour. You will speak to Georgiana and make peace. And then—we shall go to Longbourn. And you will tell Miss Elizabeth how you feel.”
