Page 75 of Oath of Betrayal
Several shaky breaths later, I stood in front of the wardrobe, picking out a simple brown dress. I wanted to see Katja, and my friend had a tendency to make me work as we talked. I’dvisit Bryna afterwards and maybe borrow a hammer or two in preparation for meeting Orm. Perhaps then the commander would listen to what I had to say.
Maybe he’d like to spar with me. Nothing cleared the air better between fighters than beating the hell out of each other on the training ground, then drinking a tankard—or three—of mead.
Tal had loved those discussions, and it still made me giggle, remembering how Arno grumbled and tried to patch us up afterwards. I felt the joy of those moments, the pain of the minor injuries Tal and I inflicted on each other. That single memory hit me like an avalanche, and my soul was buried by emotion.
My world went white, and I collapsed to the floor. Love, joy, then sorrow and the pain of my broken bonds flooded me, taking away my will to live. A wave of pain and grief, so overwhelming that I curled up to protect myself, tore apart my mind.
I knew; I finally knew why Orm had to use the geas, why I could never have accepted Vahin’s Anchor. The love that I’d felt and the bonds that had been broken when the wlok took them away from me shattered my soul … I was reliving the worst moment of my life, fighting to stay alive, to keep breathing, when all I wanted was to die with them.
Gods, if I weren’t on the brink of death when the dragon had lifted me from the rubble, I would have taken my life to escape this pain. Violent streams of aether buffeted my body for a moment before I saw my falchion resting on its stand.
I could still do it. I could escape this blinding, heart-shattering torment threatening to crush my sanity.
‘Vahin!’ I screamed, desperate and heartbroken.
‘I’m coming! Hold on, please. I will be there in just a moment.’
I gathered the last of my strength, crawling to my feet, and staggered towards the landing field. I needed my dragon. I needed my beautiful Vahin before my heart stuttered to a halt. A dragon’s roar splintered the quiet, and Vahin’s dark formplummeted to the ground like midnight lightning, cutting the deep blue of the summer sky in two.
I stumbled towards him, keening as grief poured from my broken heart. The stone beneath my feet melted as I passed. The aether surrounding me was a tempest of wild magic, leaving behind a trail of fire. Fearful screams echoed from the courtyard walls as everyone fled from the impossible conflagration.
I knew that if I fell, I would never rise again. The pain of the broken bonds reverberated through my soul and dragon fire erupted from my body, coating me with flames. I lost control, and chaotic elemental magic consumed me. I was in hell. The best and the worst moments of my life mingled together and burned me alive.
‘Vahin!’ I cried, desperate to hold on to the one soul that could save me from being entombed by pain.
Tal’s body, torn apart by the wlok; the last shimmering touch of Arno’s magic as he sacrificed his soul to save me. Then, finally, the rocks falling, suffocating me beneath their crushing weight. It all returned, and there was only one being who could end the torment.
‘Vahin …’ I cried, collapsing, my world now wholly consumed by flames. The dragon leapt forward, uncaring of the rider on his back, ripping apart the ground as he forced his way to my side, wrapping his massive body around me.
‘I’m here, Little Flame. Open your heart to me. Let me feel your pain. I can take it,’he crooned, his voice reverberating through my body when I clung desperately to his neck, pressing my face into the hard scales.
‘I can’t take it anymore. It hurts so much. Take my life, please. Let me die,’ I cried, clawing at my skin, wishing I had a dagger to pierce my heart.
‘No, my beautiful soul, your life is precious beyond measure, and I won’t let you give up,’ he soothed, his voice distorted by apurr that rumbled in his chest, and suddenly, the pain lessened. Only a little, but enough to end my pleas for death.
‘Please, don’t give up. Hold on to me, Annika. Hold on to my spirit.’ I could barely focus on Vahin’s words, but I could feel his emotions and the love that was pouring out of him through the bond. I was his everything, his light after the long, dark years of losing one rider after another, his spirit dimming with each death until his eyes had met mine when he pulled me out from under the avalanche.
‘It was you,’I breathed, and a shiver rippled over his scales, along with blessed relief. I knew he was shielding me, sharing my emotions—my grief—so that I could breathe again. His touch was the only thing that kept me afloat in the sea of fire.
‘Yes, Little Flame. Your soul burned so brightly it pulled me out of the sky. I knew you would find me again, and you did. I can’t lose you now.’
My Vahin.
I needed him as much as he needed me. I pressed my face harder to his body, inhaling his scent, my eyes squeezed shut as I fought for control. This brilliant being, my rock, supported me, his strength allowing me to think and withstand the maelstrom of feelings, but something was missing.Someonewas missing, and I gasped when I felt hands slide across my shoulders as a large figure embraced me.
‘Nivale, I’m here; we are here,’ Orm’s voice rumbled next to my ear. He had come to me, despite the flames swirling around us, and now held me against his chest. I was unable to talk, but I turned around, wrapping my arms around his neck.
Orm stroked my hair while the dragon pressed against my back, crooning behind me. Tal and Arno stood before me in my mind’s eye, and tears of blood trailed over my cheeks as I bid them goodbye. They’d want me to live on and be happy; I knewbecause I would wish the same for them. If one of them had survived, I’d want them to find love again.
So I spoke to them in my mind. Telling them about the dragon who had selflessly given himself to me when I needed him the most, about the warrior who fought every day for control over his wild magic and yet still managed to be gentle and kind. I told them about the mage who loved pain and made me laugh with his constant teasing, and whose heart was bright and loving despite the dark secret he harboured deep within it.
I talked for what felt like hours. Then, in the end, I told them that I loved them and that I always would, but that I didn’t want to walk through life alone. Not anymore.
Eventually, the pain softened, slowly subsiding, as if my heart had finally accepted their deaths, and for the first time since the accident, I felt free.
‘Gods, I should never have asked Alaric to reverse that damn spell,’ Orm muttered, looking at my tear-streaked face. ‘Ani, please talk to me. I’m so sorry,’ he begged, and the sorrow in his voice made me open my eyes.
‘Don’t be, I couldn’t go on living like that. Numb to the feelings deep inside me, throbbing like a missing limb. Now I’ve remembered how it feels to have been loved, and to lose that love. Even if it hurts, it was worth it,’ I sobbed, but Orm shook his head.
