Page 107 of Oath of War
‘Are you sure you want to do this?’
Bryna stood next to me, her face uncharacteristically solemn. I reached out and squeezed her hand. We’d spent all day going through Katja’s belongings. I’d lost count of the times we’d fallen into each other’s arms and cried, saving the useful items to be given away and carefully putting her personal possessions aside. My always pragmatic Katja would have wanted this.
‘Ani?’
‘Yes, I want to do this. Let it be her resting place, here by the river. Do you think she’d like it?’ I asked, sniffing back the tears.
‘Oh, knowing her, she would complain that it’s too wet or the frogs make too much noise,’ Bryna answered, pulling me close. ‘She would love it, Ani.’ She sighed. ‘You know, I always thoughtKatja would be the last of us to go. She was always so careful about everything.’
‘Not about choosing friends,’ I mumbled, but Bryna heard and grasped my shoulders, turning me to face her.
‘She had thebestfriends she could ever wish for. Katja loved us, loved you. It was her choice to fight, and she’d be so pissed if she could hear you now. She saved you, Ani. So pull your head out of your arse. Katja wouldn’t blame you. I don’t blame you. The only person who blames you isyou.’
The half-orc pushed me towards the wagon. ‘Now, light the fucking fire, and give Katja’s spirit the send-off she deserves! Let your guilt burn with it.’
‘You don’t understand,’ I said.
‘Oh yes, I fucking do! You don’t think I feel guilty, too? If I’d been faster, stronger, more observant ... I could have kept you both safe. But ask yourself this: “What would Katja say?”’
Bryna put her hands on her hips and stared at me with a challenging look in her large brown eyes. ‘What would Katja say, Annika?’
I looked up. The sun had already set, but a pink hue still lit the horizon, and the soft lights of the stars were emerging in the evening sky.
Are you there, my friend, exploring the stars and rolling your eyes at me now?
The sky was silent, as always, and only the shadows of soaring dragons disturbed its peace. I would have to find my own answers.
‘To stop with this nonsense and kick the Lich King where the sun doesn’t shine,’ I said, giving Bryna an apologetic smile. ‘I’m so selfish, Bry. You also lost a friend, and I didn’t even ask how you feel ... I’m so sorry, I haven’t been myself lately.’
‘Oh, no. I know you, I know how much you care, so don’t you fucking dare apologise to me. I’ll be alright. Now, burnsomething. Maybe it’ll help.’ Bryna nodded at the wagon. ‘It’s time, Annika. Let’s say goodbye to our friend.’
I called out to the stars, not for an answer this time, but for their power.
It may have been soft and gentle, but their answer sheathed my arms in flames. They felt so pure, familiar, untainted by the death trapped in my heart. The fire warmed my hands, and I rolled it between my fingers. Soft, crackling flames—smokeless, yet somehow, I caught the scent of the healing balm that always trailed after Katja infused within its heart.
‘Goodbye, my pragmatic herbalist. In every colour of our time, here and beyond the Veil, you were my friend, my sister ... I feel so lost without you,’ I offered to the flames before releasing them, watching as they enveloped the wagon, burning brightly.
The scent intensified, and I inhaled sharply, choking back the sob that threatened to escape my constricted throat. Bryna frowned, but I had already turned towards the fire. We stood there silently, watching until the flames finally died and all that remained was a mound of cinders.
Bryna eventually spoke. ‘I need to get back. But I’m glad we did this. She would have liked it.’
I embraced the half-orc. ‘I’ll stay a bit longer.’
Bryna nodded, giving the pyre one last look as she squeezed me goodbye before walking back to camp, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
The night’s chill ran down my spine as I approached the smouldering remains, mesmerised by the soft, glowing light. I should have gone back to the tent before Orm called for another search mission, but for the first time since the battle, I felt at peace.
‘I know I stayed late and missed the meeting,’ I said as I heard footsteps behind me. ‘I’ll do better tomorrow and even listen as you brief me on what was said when we return.’
‘I don’t know about the meeting, but I’m glad I didn’t miss you, Domina.’
The melodic voice had a distinct rasp, and I shook, frozen in place. I was afraid that if I turned, if I faced the man who spoke, he would disappear, and all my hope with him.
He came closer, and I swallowed hard, my throat so dry I couldn’t speak a word. ‘Ani, I know I made the wrong decision, and it cost you dearly, but can’t you even look at me?’
I dragged in a strained breath that was half sob and turned rapidly to face the man looking at me with utter devotion.
‘Annika ...’ he whispered, a soft smile lighting up his tired face.
