Page 20 of The Song of Sunrise
Tiny shakes her silky white mane as Leaf swings himself into the saddle.
I reluctantly hand over Lux’s reins back to Castor when he returns. Lux lowers his head, his black eye looking at me expectantly, as if he is waiting for me to act.
And what if I do? What if I act for once not out of self-preservation, but for something larger than myself? Break apart the wrongs of this world with one small choice at a time. Staying in Redrock would keep me safe, but even then, my future is unknown. I wish Marrow was here, so I could ask him myself. Lean into his chest and smell his scent of bean brew and old scrolls once last time. But I know what Marrow would say.
He may not be here, but he is with me.
Both Watchers begin to mumble their farewells. Leaf mentions coming back to visit, and Castor keeps his goodbye short and sweet. A tingling sense of dread begins to rise along my spine as they turn their horses to the gate.
Only you are holding yourself back,that familiar voice rings once more in my head.
“Wait!” I say, knowing in my gut this is the right decision. “I’m coming with you.”
7
Shadow Pass
We travel westward, riding hard, only stopping to rest the horses and catch wild game. I find comfort in the predictability of our travels, leaving only the weather as an unknown element. To that, I usually can predict anyway. A true Midlander can smell the rain long before it arrives.
Luckily, the pathways along the Grass Plains are not troublesome, and I allow myself to finallyrelaxatop Lux, letting go of that sense of impending doom I have been storing deep in my chest ever since the night of the Harvest Festival.
Nothing had gone right since then, really nothing until now.
Flat, expansive plains stretch ahead of me. Dew clings to the tall grasses, and the sky is dark and plump with clouds, rippling above in deep blue waves. Sprinkles of a soft orangey pink begin to highlight the edges of the clouds as the sun slowly rises impossibly far in the distance.
I’m always struck by the beauty of my favorite time of day.
“We should be passing the Watch border by nightfall,” Castor says from behind, his breath hot on the side of my neck.
“You are going to do it, right? Enroll in the Watch?” Leaf’s voice is full of anticipation.
My heart skips a beat. I cannot believe I’m doing this.
I know this is something Marrow would have been proud of. I’m not abandoning my Telling entirely, but rather taking a more active role in the stories I’ve studied for so long. Plus, I cannot help the electricity that coats my veins at the prospect of this great adventure. There is something so enthralling about making a choice like this.
Mychoice.
I did not decide this for Marrow, but for myself.
Because deep down, below my pendant necklace, under layers of skin, bone, and blood, there is a spark. A spark so blindingly bright and furious about what happened in Goldenpine, what happened to me when I was on stage, what happened to myfamilyduring the Underworld attack, that I need to find a way to harness this festering anger.
“Akemi?” Castor asks.
Right, I haven’t answered them yet.
“Yes.” I can feel something shift within me. A permanence. A destiny. “I am going to enroll in the Watch.”
Leaf yelps with excitement, startling Tiny as well as all the nearby birds.
Castor leans forward. “You are going to do great. They teach you all you need to know. We will be right there with you.”
“I call dibs on taking her weapons shopping. Oh! And her first pint at Anita’s!” Leaf says.
We continue riding for a while, each Watcher exchanging different specific events they apparently want me to experience with them. First snowball fight, first sparring match, and so on and so forth. Though I’m nervous about my choice to enroll,my chest swells with appreciation for these two Watchers who started as strangers but are now becoming friends.
They help pull the roots of doubt that are sewn into my mind. Doubt that I’m not making the right choice. Doubt that I’m not strong or talented enough to make it into the Watch. None of that matters when you have friends to support you through it all. I may not know anything about being a warrior personally, but I’ve memorized the stories.
And I’m a quick study.
