Page 36 of Shelter for Shay
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been going through some of Mom’s things, trying to sort through what can go to Goodwill, what I can sell, you know that sort of thing.”
“Shay, you don’t have to do all that right now.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Give yourself some space and time to grieve.”
“Actually, I find some of it therapeutic,” she said. “But I was hoping to find something about my dad, you know? Maybe a wedding picture. Her marriage license or the divorce papers. Anything that might tell me something about him without having to stalk him.” The crack in her voice tore at his heart.
“Do you want to find him? Because I can help with that if it’s important to you. I could do all the heavy lifting.”
“I don’t know if I want to find him as in to know him, or even have a conversation with him,” she whispered. “He didn’t just leave my mother. He left me too, Moose. And I’m angry about it all of a sudden. Not the kind of anger that makes me want to confront him, but the kind of anger that’s always been there, hidden somewhere in my heart, but I never allowed it tosurface. I was afraid to question anything because it would hurt my mom.”
“Are you mad at your mother?”
“Wow, you’re becoming quite the therapist,” she said with a slight chuckle in her tone.
It was teasing in nature, but he could tell he needed to tread lightly, or they just might have their first fight… which wouldn’t be good right before deployment.
“I don’t mean to be like that,” he said. “I’m just trying to understand where your head is at. And it’s okay to be upset over it all. I would be too. My parents didn’t abandon me, but I felt that way.”
“I know you did, but this is different,” she said. “There’s always been a small part of me that’s wondered why my mom would never talk to me about him. I get my dad hurt her and she never rebounded from that. She tried to protect me from that pain, and for the most part, she did. But I know nothing of him. I just buried my mother, and I have this dad out there somewhere and I just want to know something about him other than he didn’t want me.”
That last statement sucker punched Moose right in the gut. He knew all too well what it was like not to be wanted. Not to be valued or respected. And worse, not to be loved by the people who brought you into this world. It was a shitty feeling, for sure. “Why don’t you send whatever you have on your dad and I’ll have some people I know look into it.”
“I thought about hiring Katie Donovan’s PI firm to do that again, since she knows a little about him already, but with my mom’s medical bills and the mortgage, I just don’t have the funds.”
“Give me her contact information too. I’ll take care of it.”
“No, Moose. I don’t want you paying for that.”
One of his chickens made its way to his feet and rubbed up against his leg, as if it knew he needed a little TLC. He reached down and gave it a little pat on the side. His chickens were unique. Special. And they gave him more than some humans.
“Am I your boyfriend?”
“What does that have to do with anything?” she asked with a clipped tone.
Yeah, he sucked at the relationship thing. “Everything,” he said. “I’m here. I’m in this. With you. I want to help. And this matters to you. Therefore, it matters to me.” He sighed. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“If I called you and said I needed help with the chickens because Sarah couldn’t do it, would you come?”
“Yes,” she said. “But that’s different.”
“Not really. You’d have to take time out of your life. Buy a plane ticket and spend time here alone. And time is money. Besides, it would be supporting me. Let me help. And if you want to pay me back, you can.”
“Are we arguing?”
“Kind of feels like it.” He chuckled.
“Well, every couple has a few of those,” she mused. “All right. I’ll send you Katie’s information and everything I have on my dad, which consists of a photograph and his name. Katie knows where he lives, but I never let her give me the details. I chickened out when it got real.”
“What is his name? You never told me.”
“Bradley Morrison.”
“You don’t have his name? What’s on your birth certificate?”
“Whitaker,” she said. “My mom said she legally changed my name after he sent the divorce papers and told her he was never coming back and wanted nothing to do with her or me.”
